abuse(ish) author:Fluffshep_47 castration comedy explicit foal-in-a-can greentext hugbox instant_karma one-shot pirate_fluffies sappy stupid_owner stupidity

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Generations
A greentext-style one-off...

Small town, south Florida, nothing exciting. Ever.
No fluffies down in the Keys. Too hot, water errywhere, etc.
Walking through the mall.
See soda machine. No brand. Blank buttons.
Walk over, rummage in pockets, feed machine.
Clunk clunk CHEEEEEEP! Clunk.
WTF? Fish out the can. Something strange inside.
Hold it up to the light.
Tiny foal squirming inside the can, weggies akimbo.
Looks shook up from being "vended".
Tiny "hu hu", wiggles gif-huggies-weggies.
Eyes still closed. Trembling. Too weak to hold head up for long.
Notice can is cracked at bottom. No formula left.
Malnourished foal passes out, over adrenaline rush of being "vent."
Still thirsty, wish it had been cola, will settle for foal-a.
Go to food court. Mall sucks. Only two foodz.
Burger Shot or Cluckin' Bell?
Pick Burger Shot. Cheaper.
Obey thirst, get Sprunk.
Drink Sprunk. One less problem.
Shake can a little. Foal peeps. Still alive.
Snoozing again shortly.
Frustrated. Why shit always broken?
Go back to machine, buy another one.
Green foal. First one was... (checks) ... Blue.
Pop open end of new can with pocket knife and split between both.
Do the math. Will be two malnourished foals.
Buy two more cans. Why the fuck not?
Even out formula among the cans.
Can't hurt them to miss like a fourth of a can right?
Fuck, just bought four foals. Try to pawn them off on people walking by.
Give two away to little girl I recognize from down my street. Name of Tina.
She promises to take good care of them. Hope her parents don't mind.
Tina suggests we each keep a boy and a girl so they can get married or whatever.
Take red and blue foals home. Tina gets green and yellow.
Reminds me of Sprunk. Thirsty again.
Go home, no food in fridge. Water tastes like fish fuck in it.
Order pizza. Set foals-in-a-can on coffee table.
Forget about them for a week.
Annoying noise one morning.
"Dah! Wub!" "Hu! Hu!"
Forget they can talk. Saw it on TV, but didn't believe it.
Not like parrots, either.
"Num!" "Poo!"
Red one's cork comes out. Inside of can now completely opaque. Brown.
"Eeee! Ba' poo!"
"Hungee!" from blue one. Still starving as usual. Stupid broken can...
Pour milk from fridge into end of can.
Blue foal makes beeline to nipple, sucsucsuc HLORF.
Now crying. WTF?
Milk was too cold, now runt is shivering, puked, crying.
Argh.
Huu-huues coming from shitcan.
Consider writing off the red one...
End up popping open her can over the sink.
Tiny plump red foal rolls out end over end.
Holds sides of her head with hooves. "Hu! Di'ee!"
Use sink sprayer on red foal. Straight cold.
"EEEEEE! Wa! Ba!"
Oops. Foal gets washed down sink into garbage disposal.
Shitshitshit.sys
Careful as fuck not to flip switch.
Unplug, stick hand in, fish out shitty red foal.
Reflect on sticking hand in garbage disposal.
Shudder.
Put washcloth in sink. Warm up water. Bathe foal with dish soap.
"Nuu!" Squirm, wiggle, pee.
"Hu! Hungee!" from blue foal can.
Never wanted kids, y i do thees?
Red foal hugs finger, suckles on tip. D'aww.
Little nub of a tail wagging. Cooing sound like pidgeon.
Okay, worth it. Set her in bowl.
Pop top on blue one's can.
Tip him gently into hand instead of what happened to red one.
Smaller than red one. Stunted growth from broken can?
Little pudgy thing struggles to stand up, shivering weakly.
Look closer.
Foal's face is all scrunched up, knees bent, hunched up.
Frrt! No more cork. Not much mess, either.
Big toothless smile, rolls onto side, falls asleep in my hand.
Wash in warm water, put in bowl with red one.
Both instinctively hug in sleep for warmth.
Adorbs.
Days pass. Bought hamster cage at flea market.
Foals don't like wire mesh cage bottom, hurts their hoofs. Oops.
"Huwt! Huwt!" "Owwie! Owwie!"
Shred old papers, fill cage with it. Seems better.
Blue foal lays in hamster wheel and wiggles to rock it back and forth.
Lots of cooing.
Red one crawls around cage until bumping nose against corner.
Wiggleflails onto back and makes nu-huwties-weggies.
Whines unhappily.
Chuckle at fluffy stupidity and sit by cage for hours.
Poke, watch them squirm and bat blindly at finger.
Make weird noises to see their various WTF-reactions.
Talk to them like babies. Little tails wag, happy chirping.
Hum softly, lull them to sleep. Blue one sucks hoof. Red one curled into little ball.
Both snuggles up against each other.
All's right with world.
Next day, watching TV. Eating canned ham.
Red one opens eyes. Yellow.
Sees me.
See her.
Kinda frozen. What now?
Biggest smile, holds up weggies, "Dada!"
Heart grows three sizes.
Open cage, pick up foal.
Cuddle OMG
Two more days before runt's eyes. Green. One kinda milky.
Blue babbeh bumps into stuff a lot.
Damn broken can...
"mmnn... dada?"
Smile and nod.
"wub!"
Cuddle OMG
Call mom. Ask if pet's eye fucked up wut do?
Mom says do nothing, pet's shit-outta-luck.
Make fluffy eyepatch.
Now he can focus on just the good eye.
Doesn't bump into stuff now.
Pirate fluffeh. Name him Kenway.
(Black Flag was Free with Gold, shut up.)
Call red foal Lilith.
(Borderlands was half-off on Steam, shut up.)
"Fwuffy name Kenway? Wuv nyu name!"
"Wiwif wuv name tuu daddeh!"
Kiss-ass. Don't mind, though.
Play with foals nonstop for days.
(No job, no school, live in old motor home in mom's back yard.)
(Dumpster dive eBay fodder to pay for innernet.)
Tell foals stories to see their awed expressions:
"Once upon a time..."
/^o^\ /p.o\
"Long time ago, galaxy far far away..."
/O.O\ /p_@\
"Iiiin West Philly, born n' raised..."
/>_<\ /p_-\
(The p is the eyepatch, btw.)
Foals are mucho adorbs.
Useless for a month, do nothing but play with foals and watch Netflix.
Innernet dies.
Forgot to pay.
Ffffffuuuuuu
Need to find dumpster $$$
Beg mom for $$$
Mom says FU
huu-huu y nu wub hooman babbeh?! fine, dumpster diving it is.
Foals freak out. Never been alone.
"Nu gu daddeh!" "Scawwy! Wha if munstuh comes?!"
Now both squeal-peeing bc monsters
"AUGHT!" first thing I've said in "" this whole story lol
Foals freeze.
Realize they dun goofed. Blue one starts licking up pee.
Swat him away, that's gross
Washcloth, dab-dab-, NP
Still, bad pee-pees. thatsawhoopin.png
Explain with my mouth words they can't do that stupid shit.
Place already smells bad enough...
Both sitting on fat butts sucking hoofsies and looking up with wibble-eyes.
I must hold the line.
Foals now about as long as my hand from wrist to fingertip.
Can't hit em with car antenna, radio one's too big too
Dig around for something that will huu-huu but wont rekt
Find nothing. FML
Decide to flick butts instead.
Give epic speech: Babbehs, listen to meh. You dun goofed. Must to punish.
tl;dr: Be brave. Don't pee.
Hurt me more than it does you, etc.
Babehs looks traumatized that their peeing hurt precious daddeh.
Pinch neck fat of red foal, pull her forward so butt is in air.
Tail curled between legs.
"Huu-huu! Wiwif sowwy daddeh! Wub daddeh! Wiww be gud!"
"Daddeh, pweeze nu huwties fow babbehs! Am onwy wittwe babbehs!"
"Defy me not, tiny ones, for my mercy is great yet my wrath is greater. Learn thee from thy false suppositions the lesson of mine magnanimity or mine grapeful wrath!"
Or something like that. Was a little high.
Paper-football-field-goal to red's rump.
Whole body shakes with impact.
"EEEEE! Huu-huu-huu! Wiwif sowwy dadeh! Wub daddeh! Nu mowe pee-pees ebuh 'gain!"
Blue foal runs away.
"Runs away" pff, waddles emphatically more like
"Nu wan poopie-huwties! Babbeh wun 'way!"
charltonhestontencommandments.webm
The fuck he think he is?
Grab foal. So squishy. Power trip. Weird boner.
Hold Kenway upside down and flick his nuts.
"EEEEEEE-GLURPH!!!"
Projectile vomit. Eyes crossed. Body siezes.
Oops.
Popped a nut.
Ballsack looks lopsided, kinda deflate.
fuckohfuckohfuck.html
"Oh shit, oh shit, I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby, oh shit, nonononooooo, it's oksy, it's okay, fuuuuuck...!"
Poke poke
"Wake up... wake up... "
shake-shake
"Bwudduh sweepies...?"
Lilith's eyes all teary, sucking hoof afraid
"Oh shit oh fuck oh shit."
Want to look on fluffnet for WTF but $$$ no innernet T_T
Blue babbeh still breathing, but hand is wet.
Look down at foal in hand.
Drizzledick.
thatsbloodnotpee.psd
Sympathy pains, want to ask mom (retired vet) wut do but ashamed
I mean, fuck yo, I busted his nut.
Not like that.
Like, really busted.
Screwed for life busted.
First his eye now this.
I am scum. wan die huu huu
Remember freak dudes biting off goat nuts on that one show
"If I leave it he'll get septic or some shit, right?"
"Wut seppic daddeh?"
"Nevermind, just don't look."
Hoofsies-over-eyes, huu huuing red babbeh.
Take deep breath.
What am I doing with my life?
Bite off foal's nutsack.
Oh NOW he's awake.
"SKREEEEEEE!!!!!"
More pukies.
"WHY DADDEH NUM SPESHOW WUMPS?!"
"Daddeh num'd speshow wumps?! Dat nu am otay!"
"I know okay?! I didn't know what else to do!!!"
"But why num wumps?!"
"I thought it'd get worse if I didn't!!!"
"HOW DIS NU AM WOWSE?!"
"I DON'T KNOW OKAY?!"
"DIS NU OTAY!"
"LILITH, I KNOW! I'M SORREE-HEEE-HEEEEEEeeeee..." Huu-huu!
Three idiots crying for like ten minutes.
Mom comes out to see WTF
"Why is a grown man, and I use the term loosely, sitting in my back yard with blood all over his face crying like a bitch."
It wasn't a question. It was my life in a nutshell.
I said about a million different words trying to explain everything from the soda machine that dispenses fluffeh babbehs all the way up to biting off a foal's nuts like a goat, but that's really the only part that she seemed to catch.
And I never lived it down.
Come inside for Halloween?
"Oh, no apple bobbing for him, he prefers nuts."
Thanksgiving?
"Kenway, dear? Do you want some nuts? Oh, I forgot, your daddy won't let you have any."
Xmas.
"All I want for Christmas is my two tes-teez!"
New Year's.
"You want a glass of BALLS to toast the new year, son?"
Valentine's Day.
"Wow, that's a real ballbuster."
April Fool's Day
"Hey, son?" "What." "Fluffy balls." "Yeah, mom."
Anyway.
Lilith now scared I'll bite off her no-noes, runs away when I try to pet her.
Kenway hides his wiener when I give him a bath and cries the whole time.
Lots of eeeeee lots of pee.
Want to keep them in hamster cage, but too big now.
Two-hands long each.
Almost full grown. Innerwebz say foal-in-a-cans grow up small.
Kinda sad for them.
"EEEEE! Nu touch pee-pee! Nu num! HUUUU!!!"
Nevermind. Fuck them.
Growing resentful of being called monster daddy.
Getting tired of mom's jokes, too.
Don't do drugs, kids.
Start ignoring them most of the time.
Get back into WoW.
Now I am truly a wizard.
Be me, raid leader, pwning for phat loot.
Pat pat on the side of my leg.
"Not now, Kenway."
"Bu' daddeh... Ke'way wan huggies..."
"Go hug your sister, then. You never want me to touch you anyway."
"Was onwy a babbeh, den..."
"Ask me why I care."
"... cuz Ke'way wub daddeh...?"
"Mm-hmm..."
Blue fluffy mopes away, curls up on dirty laundry and sighs into my jeans for like a fucking hour.
Later: "Meanie daddeh..." says the red one
WTF U SAY?!
"Daddeh am nu-nu-nummie meanie daddeh! Nu wuv nu mowe!" Raspberry.
Brain explodes like a nuke. Keep it together. Say very calmly:
"AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE DONE FOR YOU LITTLE SHITS?!"
scaredy poopies? Meet terror-old-faithful. Shit errywhere
"Nu num Wiwif's nu-nues!!!"
Waddling away at mach fluff.
Take like one step and grab her by scruff.
Deep breath.
"I knw you're just trying to stick up for your brother..."
"Ke'way nu am bwudduh! Am speshow fwiend! Wowda hab babbehs if daddeh nu had nummed!!!"
o_o
"Ew, I raised you like siblings, WTF."
"Nu smeww wike bwudduh! Smeww pwetty wike stawwion! Wiwif wuv enf-enf but nu can haf babbehs!"
O_O
"Great, even my fluffies are getting laid more than me. I give up."
Throw red fluffy on sofa, go back to WoW.
Ignore stinking shitspray until nose gets used to it.
I am Foul Bachelor Frog.
Ignore everything. Fluffies have run of house.
nucawe.swf
Innernet dies again.
Steal neighbor's WiFi.
Time passes.
Kenway comes in from the yard one day and looks smug as fuck.
"Wat."
"Ke'way am bestest fwuffeh! Speshow wumps back! Dummeh daddeh nu can keep fwom make babbehs!"
@_@
WTFHOW
See red fluffy lookin like a beachball.
Preggers? HTF?
Soon mummuh says something, but too many cicedas.
"WUT? Come inside, I can't hear you!"
"Soon-mummuh nu can, staiws tuu high, Ke'way an speshow fwiend move owt! Wiv in wiwd wike fewaws!"
._.
"You know what? Go for it. There's all kinds of junk on that side of the yard you can live in and I won't stop you."
Raspberry. "Meanie daddeh nao nu-daddeh! Ke'way an speshow fwiend fwee! Gun haf bestest babbehs and nu num babbeh's nu-nues!"
"Uh-huh. Bye."
Fucker shits at me and even kicks his feet for good measure.
And to think I used to love them.
... <:-/
"Kenway, Lilith, wait..."
"Wun speshow fwiend! Meanie daddeh nu wet us gu aftuh aww!"
shotthrutheheart.mp3
"Fuck it, just go..."
huu-huu
Watch mah fluffies living in the redneck-junkyard-backyard
Eatin grass, eatin flowers, drinkin rain water
Made a nest under lawn mower tarp
Kinda smart, kinda dumb
On the one hand, lawnmower
On the other, tarp
Mower too rusty to work, but betcha they didn't know that
Time goes by.
Got a decent neckbeard going by now.
Bought fedora ironically
end up wearing it anyway
Got job at 7/11 because mom
Bitch dating again, wants rent now for booze and condoms or whatever
Consider changing name to Chris.
Aware of patheticness, nu cawe.
My blood elf death knight loves me and she's all the woman I need with her sexy goth ass
She's pixels, she doesn't know better.
Hear annoying birds one morning.
Wait, not birds. Sounds like fluffies did when bought them, but tinier.
Peek out, see Lilith carrying around a gaggle of technicolor cottonballs on her back
Kinda cute, little heart warming
Spend lunches watching foals grow up and play in the yard.
Feel like grandpa.
Go out one day while Kenway's off scavenging and Lilith's asleep.
Kneel down next to pink pegasus filly pop-hopping after a beetle.
"Hey there, cutie."
Pink babbeh looks up and sees a "human daddeh."
Tail wag, hops in place. "Hewwo! Be nyu daddeh fow babbeh?"
Wings flutter.
"Oh, uh... I just came out to play with you for a little while. I don't think your mommy and daddy would be too happy if I took you away."
Pink sits on butt, hoof in mouth. "Bu' gud fwuffies am fow daddehs, nu fow fwuffies...?"
IQ over 9!!!
"Well, kinda. Do you eat grassies yet or still milkies?"
"Buvooka nu can num gwassies yet, am onwy hoppy-babbeh! Nee miwkies!"
Ba-what-uh?
"Wait, what's your name?"
"Bavooka!"
Think back to that time I got a bag of Bazooka Joe bubblegum at the Merita Store for like a dollar.
"Oh, because you're pink."
"Wut?"
"Nothing, just... an old memory. Hey, you want a piece of candy, Bazooka?"
Face lights up. Cute, like Lilith used to do. Miss mah fluffies.
"Yes pweeze! Bavooka be gud babbeh fow daddeh!"
Give her half a gummy bear. Best thing in the whole world.
Wants more.
Sit on ground and feed pink wingy baby and play with her.
Pretends hand is a spider.
Cuter'n hell.
"BESTEST BABBEH!!!"
Shit, Lilith's awake.
"Eep!" from baby. Pees. Cries.
"Dat am munstuh hooman! Nu wan babbeh pway wif munstuh!"
Lilith is glaring daggers at me. I deserve it for being such a wimp.
I should yell at her, rip off her legs, violate her with a turnip, but ain't got the energy.
"Go on, baby. Go to momma." Push her butt with two fingers.
She hugs my fingers. "Nu wan! Mummuh scawy!"
Lilith puffs up her cheeks and stomps a hoof.
"Why's momma scary?"
"Mummuh gif away bwudduh tu meanie for nummies!"
Cold pit in my stomach.
"You what...?"
"Am onwy poopie babbeh, nu cawe. Babbeh come tu mummuh wight nao!"
"When did this happen, sweetheart?"
"Babbeh nu wemembuh, am one and one and mowe bwight times..." Sniffle.
Misses her brother. She liked playing with the runty brown baby.
It was like she had a little baby of her own since momma didn't want him.
Then momma tradded him for food.
No wonder she didn't want to go back.
"... Bazooka, do you want to come live with grampa?"
Looks up. Wibble eyes. Nodding, sniffling.
Pick her up. Put in shirt pocket so she can see the world from up high.
Her wings buzz as she blows a raspberry at her momma.
This is what I did to them.
You either break the cycle or repeat it.
My dad left us, I left them, they left theirs...
feelsbadman.jpeg
I know it was more about my pain than theirs, but it really sucked.
Lilith bitching at me, pounding my foot with her hooves to save her baby.
Mostly just looked angry at me.
Put Bazooka in her parents' old cage. Make sure to pad wire cage with shredded paper.
Learned from last time.
Sniff sniff "Smewws wike mummuh and daddeh..."
"This was their housie before you were born. They used to live here with me."
"Babbeh miss mummuh an dadeh..."
"Aww.. I'll still let you see them. They live right there."
"Bu' babbeh miss weaw daddeh, nu meanie bwue piwate daddeh!"
Real daddy? Oh, that makes sense. No-nuts couldn't, so she got knocked up to make her mate feel better.
Kinda smart, actually.
"But wait, how do you know you have a real daddy?"
"Bestest weaw fwuffy dada say su! Wan tu pway wif babbehs, but meanie daddeh gif owwies!"
Grunt.
"If you see him again, tell me and he can come live with us, okay?"
Squee! "Weawy?!"
Smile, nod. Happy fluffy.
Kinda smug that night when I cook some Chef Boy-are-deez-shitty-sketties.
Fan it out the window to make mah old fluffies jealous.
Nailed it.
Heh heh.
Let Bazooka lick up a drop of sauce.
Spoiling this one seems like the best mistake to make next. -_-
Sure enough, red stallion with one eye seen around later.
Pink flips her shit.
Go out and offer to let him stay with us.
So happy he cries. Hugs his daughter.
Turns out mah old fluffy put out his eye when they fought.
Hear tell he has a habbit of doing that to other ferals.
Wants to share his pain. Bites off their junk, too.
Poor Francis. (Named him after a pirate, too.)
Give him old eyepatch was going to give Kenway when old enough.
Teach them 100 Bottles of Beer song.
Big mistake. Fluffies can't count. Song never ends. Hate myself.
Still, it's cute.
Invest in headphones.
All better.
Wake up one morning, babbling outside, lots fluffies.
FML
"Nu-nu-num-daddeh! Come ow'side!" Sounds brave... for now.
Come out with my hands up. "Wat."
Herd of ten one-eyed fluffies flanking Kenway.
Hah, pirate crew. Awesome.
"Wisten tu captin Ke'way! Dis captin's wand nao! Bwing cwew fow take back homewand!"
Grinning like an idiot, this is hilarious.
"Avast, ye scurvy dawgs! If'n you want this here land now yer gonna have to pry it from me cold dead fingers, arr!"
Puffed up Kenway. Toughies advance. Grab car antenna.
Parry, riposte, not hurting them... too much. Stings, but won't kill.
Toughies lose nerve, huu-huu trotting away and trailing turds.
Hide under old tired, covering eyes with hoofsies.
"Fiwe da he'cannons!"
Wat rofl
A row of pillow fluffs are pushed forward.
All cheeks puffed.
Donkey-punched by cannoneers = spewing watery shit from their mouths like sorry poopies.
Reloading means cannoneers shitting in their mouths.
Okay, so litter pals, not pillow fluffs. Same difference. Still gimps.
Put plywood in the way.
"Arr, yer guns'r too weak to breach me hull! Yer gonna have to board me!"
"Wut boawd mean?" Kenway looking confused.
"(It means you have to run up and fight me with your hoofsies!)"
Puffed cheeks. "Ke'way knu dat! Chawge!"
Send their weak sauce back to the playground.
Catch Kenway.
"Aha! I've bested your captain in a duel!"
The herd instinct conflicts with the human instinct and everyfluff is confused.
Follow new smarty or run?
"Arr, I'm the fuckin' smarty now!"
"NUUUU! Fiwst take wumps nao take hewd?! HATECHU!"
Reality check.
Kinda guilty.
Put him down, kneel down.
"Hey, I was just playing with you... I won't take your herd."
"Hatechu! Wan see-pwace and wumps and pinkie babbeh back!" Sniffle.
Tries to keep looking tough.
:-/
"I know, bud... I know... I'm sorry this all happened to you. When I first got you, the thing that fed you was broken, that's why your eye's all messed up. I tried and tried to fix it, but I couldn't."
Fluffy won't make eye contact but seems less angry.
"Wan wumps back..."
"I am so sorry, Kenny. That was an accident. I didn't know how fragile you guys are. I didn't mean to hurt you so bad."
"B-but why num wumps...?"
"Because I'm stupid... I saw it on a show and I thought you were gonna bleed to death or get sick if I didn't. I messed up."
"... but why take babbeh...?"
I turn my gaze to Lilith.
"Do you want to tell him or should I?"
"Teww speshow smawty fwiend wut, dummeh hooman?"
"About why Bazooka is so scared of you. About how you traded her little brother for food."
Kenway looks shocked. "Am dat twue?"
"Was onwy poopie babbeh, nu gud babbeh. Nu cawe!"
"Speshow fwiend gif Weeses away fow nummies...? Speshow fwiend say Weeses wun away... why wie tu speshow fwiend...?"
"Am onwy wunty poopie babbeh! Ke'way dummeh! Nu haf to awways be nice tu poopie babbehs and wunts!"
"KE'WAY AM WUNT! Ke'way am poopie nu gud babbeh! Ke'way daddeh twy fix Ke'way, so Ke'way twy fix udda babbehs, tuu!"
Shock. He remembered all of that from when he was a baby.
"Ke'way nu can sabe aww fwuffies!!! Nee sabe famiwy an' gud babbehs! Wiwif nu am sowwy fow-"
And just like that she was snatched up by a passing barn owl.
Everyone, myself included, stared in disbelief.
Instant.
Fucking.
Karma.
Everything kind of died down after that. Kenway and I talked it out.
I explained that the only reason I'd even gotten Lilith in the first place was to fix his foal can.
I'd gotten her for him.
He still misses her, and so do her babies... hell, so do I, but she made her choice and paid the price for her lack of pennance. Sky Daddy works in mysterious ways.
Kenway's herd took up residence in the junk pile of the back yard, and I leave the spiggot dripping into a bowl for them. My mom's old flower garden keeps them plenty fed, especially after she moved in with her new husband.
She gave the house to me, but I rent it out and live in the mobile home in the back. It's where I've always felt the happiest.
My dad used to take me fishing in this old thing, maybe that's why. I'll never understand why he walked out on us, never get to tell him how much pain he caused, but now it doesn't really matter. I've got to move on.
Having these fluffballs in my life helped me to heal.
As for Bazooka, now she has two fluffy daddies and one human grandpa who love her very much.
The other foals are fine, too, but that's not important to the story.
I'll write some more when Bazooka's babies are born.
She's turning three today and I expect her to give birth literally any m
[Last autosave at 1:48am...]

Comments

- Reply
FS47: Sorta hard to follow, sorry. Stream of consciousness kind of writing, no real structure or editing. Is what it is...

- Reply
Dirtbiker989: >GTA 5 reference
>Archer reference
>Assassin's Creed 4 reference
>Fresh Prince of Bel Air reference
>Pirate Fluffy fight
>Human acting like neckbeard human-Fluffy NEET
>Bitch mare karma

Fucking everything about this story, I want more

I also want a followup on that bitchass Lilith
- Reply
Anonymous1: That was oddly enjoyable.
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Anonymous2: @Dirtbiker989: Pretty sure the owl would've killed her, but it'd still be nice to see her getting fed to little baby owls, having her beg and all.
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Ewik_da_Wed: Oh, I like this style. Good work my man.
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Anonymous3: this is just word shit.
You shat on a virtual paper and published it.
- Reply
Anonymous4: @Anonymous: Sounds eerily similar to your conception story.

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MAVVET_CO: Reloading means cannoneers shitting in their mouth. I'm legitimately in awe

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Browniest_of_Poopies: uu-huu y nu wub hooman babbeh?! fine, dumpster diving it is.
AUEHUAEHUEAHHAEUHUAEHHEAUHAEUHEAUHAEUHHAEUEHAUHAEUHAEUHAEUHEAUHAEUHEAUHAEUHEAUHEAUHEA

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Browniest_of_Poopies: Dig around for something that will huu-huu but wont rekt, omg u awesome, i almost shitted on ma pants!

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TitanFluff: "Tiny foal squirming inside the can, weggies akimbo"

literally laughed like and idiot.
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Anonymous5: Fucking lol

the shit cannons. Just, the fluffy logic of it. They could just shit AT him, but they added an unnecessary step.

Gold.
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Anonymous6: Imagined foal gettin its nuts bitten off... ultrakek
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blue_sun: This was actually really funny. It wasn't just mindless torture or overly hugbox. It read like an adventure story. I'd like to see more keep it up.

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icepickvasectomy: You wrote like a faggot for the first half of the story but it wasn't half bad besides that