abuse author:deadweight author:rick_n_fluffy cottonfluff fluffies-as-food gardenfluff hasbio micro-fluff questionable sadbox science_abuse site_23 tea_fluff weirdbox


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Tea Time

By Deadweight & Rick N Fluff

Hasbio Site 23 in Battle Creek is a very specialized facility. Ever since things went sour for the company, they have tried to find every possible solution to restore their image. Since the feral population doesn't seem to be going anywhere, researchers have been toiling away to make eating fluffies more palatable. First came cooking with fluffies, then the Garden Fluff became a boon to the project. These strange plant hybrid fluffies bare all manners of edible plant life on their backs. Many have internal organs and appendages that are edible as well. Now research has gone a step further to develop the Tea Fluff. This highly specialized species is a micro-garden fluff. It blends the genetics of a garden fluff, a micro and a dash of cotton fluff for absorbency. They are bred to bare thick fluff made of tea leafs. Instead of milk, they give flavored, soy based creamer. The chlorophyll in their bloodstream is heavily saturated with natural sugars leached from their body tissue.

Batch 39 are brought into Lab 6 for examination and testing. Sasha Malone joined Hasbio out of college and has bounced from place to place in the company for years. Now she is in charge of testing these little freaks for viable commercial distribution. She has had a morbid fascination with fluffies for a long time. She is more curious about their inner workings than their personalities, though. She loves to cut them open and see what makes them tick. So working where she can test fluffies for human consumption is right up her alley.

“08:00 hours. Commencing trials on Batch 39.”

Sasha opens the vented plexiglass box with the 10 subjects inside. The strong smell of herbs and tea permeate the air in the lab. It makes her smile and has a soothing effect. It will make her task all the easier. She reaches in and gently extracts one of the squirming Tea Fluffs.

“Subject B39-07-TF, Pekoe. Physical exam shows thick growth of rapidly drying tea leaves. Fragrance is slightly citrus and pleasant. Demeanor seems calm if not sedated. How are you today, Pekoe?”

The tea fluff coos and giggles as Sasha inspects her.

“Teehee, Peekoh feew gud! Am happy! Wuv Miss Sasha!”

Sasha smiles as Pekoe hugs her finger. She helped raise this batch and they are quite fond of her. She scoops the tiny garden fluff up gently and it giggles and babbles in a tiny voice as Sasha hums a melody. She crosses the lab to a stainless steel table and places Pekoe on a metal tray. She picks up a scalpel and speaks into the recorder.

“08:10 hours. Beginning dissection of Subject B39-07-TF”

Sasha pins the tiny fluffy down on its back. Pekoe giggles as Sasha spreads her legs and brings the scalpel down, still humming.

“Teehee, diesekshun am siwwy wowd! Miss Sasha am so funneeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Sasha drags the scalpel down the tea fluffs sternum, slicing from breastplate to the groin.

“Initial Y incision elicits desired pain response from subject. Stop squirming, Pekoe! You’re making a mess!”

Sugar heavy, almost syrupy tears well in Pekoes eyes as Sasha hums and brings the magnifying lamp over. She flicks on the light and smiles as she uses some tweezers to open the flaps of the incision. Pekoe is leaving a saccharine and slightly citrus puddle under her as Sasha begins poking around.

“Organ bulbs have grown nicely. They are all producing acceptable levels of fructose and citrus. The internal bouquet is entirely pleasant with no hint of decay or rot.”

Pekoe screams as the distress triggers the bodily response of increasing production of acids to aid in the dissolving process.

“Subject is still conscious and has begun the pain induced dissolving process. The soymilk bulbs are engorged and the vanilla beans are rapidly splitting.”

Pekoes eyes bulge as her organs rapidly deteriorate. She flails and sheds her thick coat of leaves. Her limbs fall off and crumble. In moments, Pekoe is reduced to a puddle of citrusy sugar syrup, tea leaves and non dairy creamer.

“08:22 hours. Subject Pekoe has expired and the dissolving acids have reduced subject to a slurry. Ph testing shows the acids are neutralizing. Remains will be preserved for gene studies and gas chromatography testing.”

Sasha hums her nameless tune as she slides Pekoes remains into the sample fridge and begins to boil some water. She walks over to find the other tea fluffs hugging and playing. She offers them each a nitrogen rich garden fluff treat and takes the time to give them each a cursory inspection. As the water heats, Sasha scoops up another tea fluff and tickles its tummy while she walks over to the steel table again.

“08:26 hours. Beginning exam of Subject B39-03-TF. Matcha is a powder variety tea fluff. We will begin by testing the time frame it takes a limb to liquesce.”

Matcha tries to hug a beaker as Sasha grabs some small forceps. She holds Matcha down with her index finger and grasps his front left leg.

“Whu Miss Sasha doin tu weggie? Pwease nu huwties! Am good fwuffeh!”


The leg pops free almost effortlessly. Matcha has no bones, but a network of chlorophyll veins that flex with fluids.

“Left front leg detaches with very little resistance. Veins are clotting quickly at stump. The leg itself is deteriorating into clumped powder tea. Commencing dissolve rate testing.”

Sasha retrieves a dropper and draws a bit of the boiling water. She squeezes a miniscule drop onto the severed leg which hisses under the heat briefly. The leg loses all cohesion and dissolves, mixing with the water which she stirs with the dropper.

“Dissolve rate within acceptable parameters, Subject seems to be fully conscious and in distress. Any pain complaints are psychological as the powdered variety tea fluff has a minimal nervous system. I will now bisect subject Matcha to observe preservative state.

Matcha sobs, but no tears come. He lacks the organs necessary to actually cry.

“Huuhuu, wai Miss Sasha give wowstest hewties?

Sasha hums and smiles as she retrieves the bigger gauge scalpel. She turns back to Matcha.

“Why? For science, of course!”

She smiles and cuts into the flailing tea fluffs midsection. Cutting across the belly, she slices deep.


Sasha holds Matcha still as he screams. The scalpel sinks through his torso until his flailing lower half separates. Thick, syrupy secretions begin to ooze from the clean cut surfaces and form a preservative seal. Matcha is still alive. Powder tea fluffs have redundant organs for just such an occasion. The portion needed is cut away while the rest survives for freshness.

“08:38 hours. Subject is alive, but appears psychologically damaged. Subject will be monitored for the next week to test its perishable state.”

Sasha closes Matcha into a slotted box and sets him aside with no notice of his cries.

“Nu wan! Matcha have biggest saddies! Wan die!”

Sasha moves onto the next subject. She scoops another tea fluff out of the box and sets it on the table as she pours some boiling water into an 8 ounce beaker.

“08:40 hours. Subject B39-06-TF appears to be in good health and fully vibrant in her tea bloom. Subject Darjeeling will be tested for water solubility.”

The tea fluff ignorantly plays with a glass stir rod as Sasha checks the water temperature as it cools from boiling.

“Water temperature has dropped to 185 Fahrenheit. Subject will now be fitted into mesh submersion pouch.”

Sasha retrieves a little mesh pouch in the shape of a teabag. She delicately picks up Darjeeling who giggles.

“Teehee, dat tickwes! Wuh Miss Sasha doin tu Dawjeewing?”

Sasha gently folds in Darjeelings legs and fits her into the snug little pouch.

“Subject will now be submerged to begin brew process.”

Sasha moves the dangling tea fluff over the water. The steam rising from the beaker makes Darjeeling start to panic.

“N-Nu! Wawas am bad fow fwuffehs! Pwease no wet Dawjeewing go foweva sweepies!”

Sasha smiles and hums as she lowers the tea fluff into the water. She squirms fruitlessly in her prison as her rump touches the water and already begins to break apart.


“NUUUUUUUU! Weggies an speshuw pwace have biggest huwties! No mowe wawas!”


Sasha lowers Darjeeling further. The surface of the water bubbles as the tea fluffs backside fizzes away like an alkaseltzer tablet. Her eyes are wide in horror as the water grows murky and the thick coating of tea leaves leach into the water. As the water touches her teats, they burst and release a cloud of hazelnut flavored soymilk. Darjeeling looks up with pleading eyes before the entire pouch is submerged. The string wiggles briefly before a slick of white and tea leaves are all that's left.

“08:59 hours. Subject B39-06-TF has completely dissolved. Remnant leaves remain in pouch. Final product gives of pleasant aroma.”

Sasha returns to the box and selects her next victim.

“09:03 hours. The next subject is B39-04-TF, a type of multi-use tea fluff. The following experiment will test the rate of regrowth of the tea extract between servings.”

Oolong is a highly specialized tea fluff. His genetic make-up is a bit more sturdy than his compatriots. His body can survive multiple steepings. He doesn’t dissolve like the others, but works more like a traditional teabag. His flavors are leached into the water. A kick of adrenalin and growth hormones activate upon contact with the scalding water to begin cellular regeneration.

“Subject Oolong has a thick, almost matted coating of tea leaves. Subject will now be placed into mesh pouch and submerged”

Oolong squirms as Sasha fits him into the pouch. She hums and sips from the beaker she dissolved Darjeeling in. She wrinkles her nose and sets the cup down.

“Note, hazelnut flavor in B39-06-TF is slightly overpowering and sugary. Adjust in next batch chromosome trials.”

Sasha finishes fitting Oolong into the pouch and brings him over the water.

“Commencing steep test one.”

Sasha lowers Oolong into the water as he desperately protests.

“NUNUNUUUUUUUU! Oowong nu wan huwty wawas! EEESplurghughack!”

Oolongs leafy coat shrivels and hisses a bit, the leaves are blanched as the flavor leaches into the water. Sasha dunks him completely under a few times before holding his head above water. He sobs and whimpers as the water scalds his thick coat of leaves off. She lifts him out and hums as she unpacks him.

“Subject B39-04-TF has lost half his mass and has green blisters coating his hide. The water is being rapidly absorbed through the surface. Tea buds are already forming under microscopic inspection. The regeneration rate is quicker than expected. Recommend further observation to track re-growth over the next 24 hours.”

Sasha returns Oolong to the box with the others. He curls up and sobs as the rest try to hug him better.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEE! “Huggies gif biggest huwties! Nu touch Oowong! Huuhuu.”

Sasha smiles and tosses a handful of nitrogen treats into the box and scribbles some notes. The rest are all surrounding Oolong as he cries, leaves now forming on his back, visible to the naked eye. Sasha snaps the lid closed on them and ignores their muffled cries.

“Trial terminated at 09:20 hours.”



- Reply
deadweight: Thanks to Rick for his contribution! Hope you all enjoy!
- Reply
Redleg: Wonderfull! All the sorrow with none of the shit!

Is there a pot version for our friends in Washington and Colorado?


- Reply
FluffyPuncher: Interesting concept.
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Anonymous1: Mighty fine weirdbox there Lou. Nice to see someone taking the lesser used subspecies in an unusual direction (triple bonus points for steering well clear of Marysueville).

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RevMe: One of my favorite things about these sorts of stories is that there's pretty much no earthy reason why these would be made OTHER than because it's fun to torture fluffies.
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deadweight: @RevMe: Well yeah! Imagine the soothing combination of camomile and tiny screams =]
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blue_sun: This seems like a very expensive and inefficient way of making a cup of tea.