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FluffSnuff INC.

Beanie Babies!:

2017-Beanie-Babies-Introduction

:30 - :60 - :120

National Evergreen Spot



“Fwuffy wan be mummuh!”

“Wan babbehs!”

“Nao! Nao! Nao!”

Has this ever happened to you?

Sometimes, dealing with your fluffy little girl's desire to have babies can result in terrible circumstances. Like this one who ran away after daddy said no babies, got knocked up, and is now eating her young because she can't find food to feed them or herself. Or this one, who ran away with a stallion who turned out to not be as caring as she thought, left her for another mare, only for him to come back again a month later and rape all her babies to death. Or this one, who was amputated because she threw a tantrum about babies, stuck out her tongue, and thought it was a good idea to make bad poopies as a punishment to her daddy.

Don’t get angry. Get Beanie Babies!

Beanie Babies! are a new FluffSnuff approved product and procedure that allows your fluffy to go through all the natural processes of birthing, without you having to deal with additional members of the fluffy family.

The process is simple. Simply allow your mare to get knocked up. This allows her to experience the natural flow of motherhood. Then, after the 2nd week, feed her the special spaghetti sleeping formula, and wait for her to fall asleep. Once asleep, put on the gloves provided in the Beanie Babies! kit and use the provided tools to extract her unborn foals. The job is a little messy, but worth it in the end to avoid dealing with an expensive runaway or rebellious attitude.

Once extracted, replace the foals with 3 of our patented, biodegradable, Beanie Babies! beanies. They are comprised of a special formula that induces labor after the last week of pregnancy. Once she says "Biggest Poopies!" all you have to do is sit back and let her instincts kick in.

Each Beanie Babies! beanie is capable of minor movements, chirping noises, and suckling actions to simulate real baby foals. But don’t you worry yourself over the extra mouths to feed. Each beanie expires within 3 days of birth.

From here, all you have to do is “discover” the situation and scold her for killing her babies, not being a good mother, or maybe she just wasn’t capable of making good babies. When she finds out she is unfit for motherhood, she will no longer want to try for more babies. This takes all the psychological trauma off of you, and places it back on the fluffy! No fuss, no attitude, no expensive designer breeds lost to the call of the wild.

Beanie Babies! allow you to control the situation and avoid an expensive addition to your family. And after a few days of tender love and consoling, your fluffy will be back to her old self!

Beanie Babies! Located in your nearest FluffSnuff INC. retailer.

Comments


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Stephano: now this is a story I would like to read. or a comic.
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ink_drenched_fluffy: This sir.....

Is genius
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Anonymous1: WAY too much work. All you need is an injection while she is unconscious that'll make the foals come out either stillborn or near death.

A full medical procedure with pulling things out and putting things back in? No way.

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King_C: Im sorry, am I going to be pulling foals out of a fluffy?
I'd rather just use a coathanger
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TheFoalFryer: Let her get knocked up and have foals. Fatten them up and get cooking. After so long she will never want babbehs again.

TheFoalfryer's solution, satisfaction guaranteed

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FluffiesAreFood: @TheFoalFryer: This is exactly right. Don't let those foals go to waste! A litter of foals or a healthy adult fluffy is enough to feed a whole family!
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MummahsSketti: Or just get them spayed like a reasonable person.
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TheFoalFryer: @MummahsSketti: where's the fun in that?

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FluffyPuncher: reminds me of dr benways chirpy implants
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Anonymous2: Yeah, sounds like chirpies. Wish she could finish that.
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Anonymous3: @FluffyPuncher: Except these ones just die, and not a sort of "forever foal" thing.
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Anonymous4: This is such an interesting concept. Keep it up!
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Anonymous5: Would be easier to just inject antifreeze into each baby foal and let the mare watch them die
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Anonymous6: I love the extra trinkets the markets comes up with.

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SoyBean: Or you can just drug her to sleep and snap the babies' necks while she's out cold and scold her the next morning

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FluffiesAreFood: @SoyBean: You're missing the critical step, which is to make sausage out of the foal meat and then incorporate it into meatballs, to be served with spaghetti.

Of course, the spaghetti feeds the whole family, with leftovers going to ex-mumma mare to help cheer her up.

Fluffy meat! It's what's for dinner!
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Anonymous7: Just give her an abortion medication laced plate of sketty, no need to do that yucky medical procedure. Unless you just enjoy home gynecological procedures!
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Anonymous8: @Anonymous: And really, if we're talking about fluffies ... who doesn't!

Fluffy abortion! It's fun for the whole family!

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FluffiesAreFood: @Anonymous: Fluffy foetus is a real treat, too! Just gut and sautee them in olive oil and butter with some crushed garlic for an awesome appetizer or to accompany a steak!
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GreatFieryDongoOfDoom: @FluffiesAreFood: Meat and other meat? Also you would probably want to gut it first.
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Anonymous9: @GreatFieryDongoOfDoom: He did say to gut them first. As for meat with meat, think of how some places serve steak accompanied with bacon. Same idea.
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Anonymous10: I'd love to see this made into a story but I also see a flaw in it.

Why not just kill the babies in their sleep after a few days?
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GreatFieryDongoOfDoom: @Anonymous: Totally missed that. That's an interesting concept, although I always thought it's rare thing to serve two kinds of meat.
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AetasX: @Anonymous:
This is a reply to the ones above, too, but the goal is to provide emotional support (or damage) to the mare about the loss and convince her to not want babies again. Surgical spaying isn't exactly expensive, but it can be damaging, especially to animals that are already quite fragile. It is indeed still an option, but remember, this is marketed to those who want to keep a mare intact, undamaged, at full value, possibly fit for breeding down the road, and to convince her she is unfit for parenthood to prevent any chance of blame to be placed on the owner.

I agree there are alternative ways of doing this kind of thing, but honestly, each way has little aspects of "personal fun" to it. Pick your method of choice :D

Lots of good comments. Thanks for the support guys/gals.

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Simpfan: Since they're biodegradable, can they just be absorbed into the afterbirth (placenta) during the birthing process, so when she looks for her babbehs to have come out, there's nothing there?
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