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You’re Smarty, the smartest smarty fluffy ever. So smart, you were the only survivor of each of your… One… Two… Threeteen… Four… Four! Four herds! The last one got forever sleepies at the skettie land place when the evil human monster said you weren’t allowed in. You know you could have beat him, but you were too hungry to fight. So you sent your toughies after him… And then you told the other stallions to fight… And then the mares… Then the tummy baby mares… Than the babies.

You would have gone back, but you didn’t think the sketties there were going to taste that good, being made by such a terrible evil human monster. So you found this place. A big place with lots of trees and grassies in front of a housie. This housie had nice light up thingies, like small sky balls lighting up a path, and some colorful nummy flowers, and even big white walls. Tall walls that are supposed to keep you out. But you are the smartest fluffy ever. You can fit right between the gaps in the white walls and get to the nummies.

You were eating for a small forever when you started to feel full. So many delicious flower nummies made your tummy the happiest it has been in a long time. You decide to curl up under one of the bushes and get some rest. Since this is your land now, you should be safe under one of the pokey flower bushes. When you wake up, you have to find a new herd. And a new mare. It has been a few forevers since you have given enfies.

Just as you close your eyes, you already start seeing pretty mares and feel your no-no stick get bigger. You like it when it is bigger. You like it even more when your enfi-mare gives it licky cleanies. …



“Hey… Hey, get up.”

You open your eyes. You thought you were giving a mare bestest special huggies… But now it is a little darker. You start to see more clearly. And in front of you is a human. A HUMAN!

“G-Go ‘way, dummeh! Dis s-smawty wand now!”

(imagine the gayest, most homosexualest accent you can)
“No it isn’t. This is my yard. Prance off or I’ll make you regret devouring my Sunset magazine’s award winning garden.”

You look around. Garden?

“N-nu eat gawden. Eat nummies. G-good gwassie and fwowuh nummies.”

“You have only one more chance before I teach you a lesson, little guy.”

This guy is threatening you. On your land! He has to be taught a lesson… But how?

You stand up and puff out your cheeks. You take a step forward to make a raspberry and threaten sorry hoofsies when you feel tickles on your no-no stick. You glance down, it is still big. Good! You know just what to do to teach the bad human a lesson.

“Dis Smawty wand! Dummeh hoomi gu away, ow gif no-no stick wicky cweanies! Dummeh hoomi gif wicky cweanies den gif sketties… Ow gu ‘way! Ow get wowstest hewties!”

The human gets lower. He is looking at your no-no stick! It… Kind of makes you feel uncomfortable.

“Watchu wookin at? Gif wicky cweanies and sketties, now! Ow get wowstest enfies!”

“Ok.”

… Wut? You just wanted him to run away, and be afraid of your big no-no stick, and your superiorness.

The human bends down lower and lifts you up a bit. He then positions you over his face. What in the world?! This isn’t right! No-no stick only for mares and enfi-fluffies and enfi-babies! The human was supposed to be scared of his punishment! OH!

*Lick* *Suck* *Slurp*

Oh, this feels great! This is almost as good as your last enfi-mare! It… It is better than your last enfi-mare. He is even doing something to your no-no’s! It feels sooooo good! This is the bestest best feels ever!

*copious amounts of spooge even for a fluffy later*

He puts you down.

“Mmmm, I’ve taken a lot of shots in my time, but nothing as sweet as that.”

The human is licking his lips. He actually liked licking your no-no stick? Wow! You’ve never known this about humans before. But he said he would do what you said, so now he must get you sketties. You are Smarty! The smartest Smarty ever and able to make humans lick your no-no’s!

“Now gif sketties, an housie, and toys, and enfi-mares! And then more wicky cweanies on no-no stick!”

“Ah, you liked it then, huh little guy? Well, my turn, now.”

“Yea! Sketties and toysies- tuwn?”

“I told you, if u didn’t leave, you would be taught a lesson. And this lesson is both punishment for eating my garden and a lesson in human culture. The culture of trade.”

You are so confused. What does he mean “twade?” Where is your sketties?!

“Wah! Put Smawty down! Nu wan’ bad upsies!”

He is lifting you up again and making you face him. He is smiling at you. He better be smiling about your sketties in your tummy!

Wait… Now he is lowering you. He is removing his not-fluff. What… What is that?! Is that… A NO-NO STICK?! HOW DID IT GET SO BIG?!

“Open wide, little guy.”

“Nu- nu wa-*HURK* *HURK* *HURK* *HURK*”

He is jamming his no-no stick into your mouth! It is so big you are gagging and choking. You can only breathe when he pulls it out, just before he puts it back in. You think you made sicky wawas, but you can’t move to look, and every time his no-no stick goes into your mouth, you feel yuckies and gag.

“St-*HURK*p, nu *HURK* bad wick-*HURK* cwean-*HURK*”

You can’t help but cry. You thought you were tougher and smarter than this human. You got him to lick your no-no stick, after all. Was it… Was it a trick? A trick so you would have to lick his! How dare he trick you! And now you are neck deep in the worst experience of your life!

He starts to make weird noises. He pushes his no-no stick in as deep as it can go. You are gagging and trying to throw up. You push your hooves against him trying to get away, but he is holding you firm. Now, he won’t remove his no-no stick! You can’t breathe! You don’t want to take forever sleepies!

You glance up as much as you can. But all you see is him looking up. What is he looking at? Why won’t he stop the bad wicky cweanies?

Suddenly, you feel his no-no stick get slightly larger. It pulses and- YUCKIES! It is miwkies! He puts most of it in your mouth. But then he finally pulls his no-no stick out and puts some miwkies on your face. It isn’t very good tasting miwkies, either. But at least you can breathe again.

You are gagging and throwing up yucky wawas and yucky miwkies. Your eyes won’t stop crying. You’re trying to breathe in after every vomit. That dirty human. He tricked you. And now you don’t think you will get sketties. This makes you mad!

“*COUGH* Dummeh! Smawty gonna *HURK* *COUGH* gif sowwy poopies! *COUGH*”

You try to turn around, but you are still coughing on the yuckies in your throat. That’s when he picks you up by your tail and looks you right in your face.

“D-Dummeh! Put dow-“

He’s quiet.

“You get out of my yard, now, or I will turn you into my little bitch fluffy and give you the biggest enfies ever.”

You think on those words for a moment. Then it hits you. Enfies. With that huge no-no stick! In your poopie place! ENF THAT!

“Nu! Nu wan bad enfies! Nu am mawe! NU AM MAWE!”

He sets you down and you dive between the two walls. You don’t want to be an enfi-fluffy. You’re a Smarty, after all. You run as fast and as far as you can go. Your throat hurts and you are exhausted from running.

You finally reach the black top that lead you to that horrible land and it suddenly hits you. This whole thing was a trap! You knew it was too easy to get between those walls. How easy it was to get all that land, the yummy gwassies, and then, the yucky miwkies… He trapped you so he could force you to give him bad wicky cweanies. He tricked you. You’re… you’re not the smartest Smarty ever, after all.

*BLUUUUAAAAARRRRFFFFF*

Too many miwkies.

Comments

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Anonymous1: ok ...
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Anonymous2: More like balls deep in the worst experience of his life.

Also, still not sure why the human gave the fluffy head. Gfur pervert, probably.

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Zengage: Gayest shit ive found on this site yet.

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SoyBean: I'm thankful that this isn't drawn

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deathproofpony: @Zengage: I see you haven't met Dr. Benway yet.
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Anonymous3: @SoyBean:
Be careful what you wish for...
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ink_drenched_fluffy: .... that, my friends, is the bad side of the furry fandom. The scary part of it.
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Anonymous4: this side has become a devenerate-off, whatever happened to the good old times of brutal torture and death
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Anonymous5: @Anonymous: I know right? Next thing somebody's gonna draw porn of ABUSERS. If that happens, I'll actually kill myself.

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Pumpiikin: even this is too much for me
props for actually having the imagination to think this up and the stomach to actually type it out
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PeppermintParchment: So he raped a fluffy in his front yard...?
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Anonymous6(2): @PeppermintParchment: No, he engaged with the fluffy in a mutually beneficial transaction that not only gave him "gud feews", but taught him about human culture.
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Anonymous7: I would love to see the smarty be his permenanet enfing pal.
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BranF1akes: That smarty just got culturally enriched.
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Anonymous8: @Anonymous: What I'd like to see would be to have the gay have a gay friend over and then have him introduce his new pet, whereupon the smarty comes out in makeup and a little matching silk robe, but how would you translate fluffy into Gushing Gay?
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AetasX: @Pumpiikin:
And here I was going to point out you would be most likely to draw this as a comic :D

Thanks for the read and comments everyone!
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Anonymous9: ...why..