Banned_User impending_deletion safe


Comments - Download - Toggle formatting

For my first set of stories I will be basing off of the works of the great QUENTIN TARANTINO. Enjoy ;)
Edit: This is an official upload because my connection was being fucking stupid

BY: _Tarentino

Prelude: The Twin Pines Shitstorm

It was a hot cloudy day in El Paso during my wedding rehearsal. Everything was absolutely perfect. My fiancé and I had been looking foreword to what was going to come tomorrow. You see, no one knew Who I truly was, my past, or the many violent things I had done. I used to be know as Beatrix Kiddo: Professional Fluffy Assassin. I traveled all the way around the world, stomping, stabbing, blowing up, shooting, and even incinerating those little shitrats until the very mention of my name caused mass panic and Hu Huing among a herd. After I met Tommy and fell in love, I realized I had so much more to live for than mutilating retarded pig hamsters beyond recognition. So here I was, ready to start anew with a wonderful husband and leave my past behind in exchange for inner piece. Little did I fucking know what was awaiting me.

I looked over at Tommy and the rest of the chapel, who were all roaring with loud retarded laughter at the little black unicorn and his herd of four who interrupted the festivities. Tommy walked over to the little fucker and squatted down so he and the fluffy were eye level. “Oh, is that so you little shitrat?” he trivially asked the tiny horse. “What’s stopping me from beating you and your little friends fucking skulls in?” I have to admit, the sound of Tommy threatening the little fucker was getting me a little hot. “NU AM SHITWAT!!!” The little cunt screamed. “AM BESTEST BWAVEST SMAWTY EBBUH!!!” “TAKE SOWWY POOPIES DUMMEH MEANIE!!!!” Before I could react the black stallion and his posse had completely covered my fiancé (And his new white tuxedo) in a wave of liquid shit. They began running around the chapel spraying excrement and piss all over everything. Usually fluffies were nothing more waddling blobs of useless flesh, too fucking fat to even run, but these cunts surprisingly had the speed of an average puppy. Tying to chase after them in my big wedding dress and heals was no use so they managed to slip my wrathful hand. If only they knew I was truly Beatrix Kiddo, maybe they wouldn’t have been so fucking stupid to try to challenge me.

The wedding was fantastic. Tommy managed to get his suit last minute dry cleaned to perfection, a beautiful baptist church let us hold the ceremony there, and we had the sweetest cake and champagne I had ever tasted. But with all of this joy and unbeatable happiness, the thought of that little fuck who ruined my rehearsal lingered in the back of my mind like a damn tumor. I knew what had to be done: SWEET. COLD. BLODDY. RUTHLESS. MOTHERFUCKING. REVENGE.

I sat up late the evening after the ceremony on my computer, scanning through my old hit list while Tommy was knocked out cold. (Probably wore out from all that consummating) I could of swore I had seen those five pricks before yesterday. After three long hours of glancing through face after face after fat motherfucking face, I finally hit the mother load:

• Black mane and coat
• Unicorn
• Stallion
• Smarty of the “Forebba Sweepies Fwuffy Herd”
• Name:


Uploader Royale_with_cheez,
Tags Banned_User impending_deletion
Rating safe
Source Unknown
Locked No


- Reply
Royale_with_cheez: Note: I had to change my name from _Tarentino to what is now due to login errors n shit
- Reply
Outcast: Seems a lot of people have been having "login errors" as of late.
- Reply
Royale_with_cheez: Taken care of :)
- Reply
Royale_with_cheez: Taken care of
- Reply
Royale_with_cheez: Thoughts on the story?

- Reply
differential_Sloth: @Royale_with_cheez: Well since you asked, it's not even a story.

You don't need to write the bloated epics I'm fond off, but would it have killed you to flesh this out a bit?

Maybe show your edelord's main character's past instead of tell us about it.
- Reply
Royale_with_cheez: @WetFluff It was taken care of because I fucking said so you piece of shit twat

- Reply
Guzziman: I think he thought he was Samuel L. Jackson

- Reply
babbehteef: @WetFluff: hoooooooooo boy here we go
Thread locked for the current user.