abuse accidental_abuse author:WriteKnight magic_poopies safe shit toy weirdbox


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A Very Fluffy Birthday
By WriteKnight

“A Magic Poopies Fluffy?!” Kayla squealed at the top of her six-year-old lungs. “I love it I love it I love it I love it!!” Her blonde pigtails bounced as she wrapped her uncle Chuck in the biggest hug the kindergartener could manage. He returned the hug in turn, ignoring the look of horror from his sister-in-law. Sitting on the picnic table in the middle of the backyard was a unicorn fluffy, smiling from ear to ear from its packaging. Bio-toys weren’t that much harder to package than regular toys, just shove a cork up its ass and poke some airholes and you were ready to go.

“Glad you like it,” Chuck said, before the girl peeled herself off his legs to marvel at her new toy. Chuck took this moment to give his stuck-up sister-in-law a smug grin while Kayla’s back was turned, before she spun around again.

“Can I play with it right now?” She turned towards her mother. “Please? Pretty please?” The girl was practically vibrating with excitement.

“Wan pway wif widdle mummah!” the fluffy added.

Kayla’s mother chewed her lip. “Well… only if you promise to play with it in the bathroom,” she said, “And Uncle Chuck has to help clean up!”

Chuck’s face fell, but Kayla’s was practically glowing. Both her and the fluffy cheered as Kayla’s mother returned Chuck’s previous smirk.

“C’mon, Uncle Chuck! I wanna play right now!” Aww, how could he say no to a face like that? He hoisted the bio-toy’s packaging up before Kayla tugged it from his grip. Despite it being the same size as her, she was the birthday girl and she wanted to carry it.

“Use the upstairs bathroom!” her mother called after them, as the two of them went inside. Probably for the best, Chuck thought, heading up the stairs.

A yelp caused him to whip his head around, worried Kayla had hurt herself, only to realize it was coming from the packaging instead of the girl. With each step, the fluffy let out a distressed peep and chirp, not used to being bounced around like a furry pinball.

Chuck tried not to smile.

“Alright, is that everything?” Chuck asked, staring at the giant instruction sheet in his hands. He decided to go over it one more time, just to be sure.

“Shimmer Noodles?”


“Magic Sauce?”


“Glitter Cheese?”


“Litter box?”



“Uhh… check!”

“Mixing bowls and spoon?”

“Check an’ check!”


“Fwuffy hewe!”

Chuck smiled at both his niece and the pale pink fluffy in her lap. Said fluffy was your typical unicorn fluffy, with a stubby pink horn sticking out from its lilac mane. The only difference between this fluffy and one you’d find in a shelter was the ruffled diaper it wore over its bottom half. Said diaper was the reason the package it came it wasn’t covered in feces and urine.

“Okay, Uncle Chuck, what’s the first step?” Kayla asked. The fluffy jumped out of her lap before being pulled forcefully back in. She started to pet the fluffy to placate it.

“Gibe fwuffy name, widdle mummah?” the fluffy asked, staring up at her with giant, technicolor eyes.

Kayla pondered for a moment before nodding. “I’m gonna call you… Bubblegum!”

“Bubbagum wub name! Wub widdle mummah!” the newly christened fluffy cooed.

“Alright, step one… erm, two,” Chuck said, clearing his throat. “Let’s see… ‘Grab the big mixing bowl and one can of shimmer noodles for your fluffy’.” He put the neon pink bowl between the two humans, as Bubblegum wriggled in Kayla’s arms.

“How about… that one!” Kayla said, pointing to one of the cans. Its label was the same as the other, covered in colorful, glittery unicorn fluffies playing and eating equally glittery noodles. Notably, a warning that the product was for “magic poopies fluffies only” was plastered on the top and bottom. Gotta make sure no stupid kid kills themselves eating glittery noodles.

Chuck picked the can up and cracked it into the bowl. A chemically smell filled the bathroom, barely masked by what Chuck assumed must be some sort of generic fruity perfume.

“Whoa… they really are shimmery!” Kayla marveled, as light bounced off the gelatinous, translucent strands. “Don’t they look good, Bubblegum?”

“Bubbagum wan!” the fluffy whined, wriggling even more in Kayla’s arms. Luckily, fluffies were weaker than wet tissue paper, but Kayla was still annoyed. She bopped the fluffy on the nose to scold it, causing it to give a small cry. “S-sowwy widdle mummah.”

“Call me Kayla,” she said, before looking back up at Chuck. “What’s next?”

“’Fill the small mixing bowl up to the line and add a magic sauce of your choice’,” he read. “What color do you want, cupcake?”

“Pink! ‘Cuz Bubblegum is pink!” she said. Chuck stood up, stretching his legs out for a moment and silently cursing having to sit on the hard tile, before following the simple instructions. He dumped the packet labeled “Pretty Pink” into the water and stirred until the chemicals formed a thick, pink goop reminiscent of marinara sauce. It didn’t smell like marinara sauce, more like generic bathroom spray. He wondered what would happen if he sprayed some on the “food” … nah, not in front of Kayla.

“Okay, now it says to dump the sauce on top and then add the cheese,” Chuck said, scooping out the sauce and mixing it with the noodles. It looked even more radioactive with the noodles. Surely the ‘cheese’ couldn’t make it look worse, right?

“I wanna do it!” Kayla said, handing Bubblegum to Chuck and grabbing one of the packets labeled “glitter cheese”. It exploded all over the bathroom, but a good portion landed in the bowl. It was less cheese and more glitter, and Chuck had a sneaking suspicion it was just glitter in a pale-yellow color.

“Now we’ve gotta mix up the spaghetti…” The words were barely out of Chuck’s mouth before Bubblegum went ballistic.

“WAN SKETTI! SKETTI FO’ FWUFFIES!” Bubblegum howled, trying to wriggle free. Again, it was stopped by its sheer lack of muscles.

Kayla didn’t mind, instead grabbing the spoon and mixing the “spaghetti” up to her heart’s content. When it was more mash than spaghetti, Kayla held it up.

“Now it’s time to feed Bubblegum,” Chuck said, before picking up the instructions once more. “It says to make sure your fluffy eats every last bite of its special spaghetti. Want me to set her down now?” He honestly didn’t know whether Bubblegum was a mare or a stallion, and he didn’t care.

“Yep!” Kayla said, setting down the bowl. No one needed to prompt the fluffy to dig in, as the moment its soft hooves touched the floor it began to hungrily devour the chemical soup. Chuck was glad he had decided to put some towels down, as bits of glitter and pink sauce flew everywhere. The meal was gone in less time than it took to create, and both knew the fluffy was done when it let out a belch.

“Bubbagum so fuww…” it whined, patting its stomach with its stubby hoof.

“Now we got to put in its pacifier and rock it,” Chuck said, shoving the cheap plastic pacifier in when the fluffy opened its maw to whine again. Before you could say “bad upsies”, he flipped the fluffy on its back and handed it to its “widdle mummah”.

Kayla mimicked the rocking she had seen time and time before, humming an off-tune lullaby to her “baby”. The fluffy temporarily forgot to complain about being picked up by the scruff of its neck as it was lulled to sleep.

“Okay, I think it’s ready, Kayla,” Chuck said, after two minutes of rocking. “Now we’ve got to remove Bubblegum’s diaper and hold her over the litter box.”

“Okay!” Kayla said, as Chuck helped her undo the diaper by its hook-and-loop straps. While most of the diaper was cloth, there was a small plastic anal plug sewn in, so the diaper remained pristine despite being attached to a poop machine. Chuck wasn’t sure how it didn’t have at least one urine stain, but he didn’t have time to question it. He glanced over at the illustrated instructions which showed how to release the “magic poopies” in a way even small, illiterate children could understand. After removing the diaper…

“Press the magic heart in its pacifier,” Chuck read out loud, prompting Kayla to push the small red button. Hidden inside the pacifier a small balloon inflated, just enough to keep the pacifier in place no matter how much the fluffy tried to remove it. Because, as the next illustration spoiled, there was going to be a lot of screaming it needed to muffle.

“Here, you hold Bubblegum,” Chris said, putting Kayla’s hands under the fluffy’s “armpits”, “And I’ll release the magic poopies.” The fluffy had just begun to stir, not used to the new position or the feeling of being diaperless.

And then Chuck pressed the soft spot under its rib cage.

A momentarily gurgle before the bathroom was filled with muffled fluffy screams and shitting, as Kayla held her bio-toy over its litter box. Like a flood-gate being opened, the litter box was soon filled with what was probably the best-smelling thing to ever come out of a fluffy’s rear end. Pink, glittery slime filled the shallow dish, sticking to the fluffy’s rear end and everything else it touched.

Kayla giggled, “Gross!” as the fluffy continued to defecate. Tears streamed down its face, though Kayla didn’t notice. Chuck did though. He jabbed the soft spot once again once the stream had stopped, verifying that the fluffy was tapped out.

Bubblegum sobbed as she was set down on one of the towels to recuperate. Kayla was enthralled by the poop. She poked it and it jiggled. She stretched it and it glittered. She squished it and it made noises reminiscent of its birther.

“I gotta show everyone! Uncle Chuck, keep an eye on Bubblegum, okay?” Kayla said, picking up the litterbox.

She bolted out of the bathroom, and Chuck could only manage to yell “Careful!” as she practically leapt down the stairs.

The bathroom was quiet once Kayla’s footsteps disappeared, and Chuck turned to the fluffy. He pressed the button on its pacifier and pulled it out with a sick pop, causing the fluffy to cough.

“W-why… why widdle mummah gibe fwuffy tummy hurties…” it cried, sniffling.

Chuck laughed aloud. “Because fuck you, that’s why,” he said, causing the fluffy to flinch at the swear. “Your purpose in life is to make this slimy goop for Kayla. That’s what you were born for.”

“B… Bu’ Bubbagum nu wan mow tummy hurties…” Bubblegum cried, trying to stand up.

He could have roared laughing, but managed to only laugh to himself. “You don’t have a choice. Your purpose from now on is to make sparkly shit until Kayla gets bored. And when that’s over…” He grabbed the fluffy by the jowls. “Uncle Chuck will take good care of you.” His fingers dug into the fluffy’s jaw enough it felt like it was going to crack, but he stopped just short of that. Uncle Chuck had a lot of experience with fluffies.

Hearing someone downstairs, Chuck stuck his head out the door. “Kayla? You there? Wanna make more magic poopies with your fluffy?”

Kayla's voice came from downstairs. "Uh-huh!"


- Reply
WriteKnight: You know the worst fucking thing? This concept isn't even mine. See source for a toy I can't believe you could buy for fifty dollars. Also inspired by RQ's "Consumew Weports".
- Reply
Fluffwit: Oh boy, more of THOSE toys.

At least you managed to give them a neat twist! Poor fluffy...
- Reply
Stealthderp: Nice.

- Reply
guodzilla: @WriteKnight: in re. Source video:

- Reply
guodzilla: I had to watch the video muted, because

I looked the item up and actually it goes for closer to $100.
As a result, that cloying, obnoxious little abomination goes straight into my "OH HEll NO!!!"

- Reply
babbehteef: this is a great story! I wonder if a similar toy exists...

*clicks link*
that... was horrifying.

- Reply
guodzilla: @babbehteef: as I was intimating....
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GayNiggerFromOuterSpace: That source link...

No fucking way.... and its even a fucking horse toy....

- Reply
sexygoatgod: My sisters have these and those creepy LOL dolls that they make piss across my moms house.
Thread locked for the current user.