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Fluffy Springs Saga
Side Story 22.1

(Television Transcript)
(Program Description: Broadcast of In Deep Weekly News Magazine)
(Program Number: BT34-3)
(Program Original Date: Sunday, October 10, 2-redacted by TLSC)
(Record Retrieval Date: Thursday, July 6, 2-redacted by TLSC)

(Standard Season 34 "In Deep Weekly" Intro (See upper level directory for video file))

(Show opens with host; face front)

Angelya Monroah: Hello, I'm Angelya Monroah, and welcome to In Deep Weekly. Tonight we get an exclusive inside look at Fluff Farms, Inc, one of the largest protein suppliers to Fluff Burger, and as we'll see, more than a few others. We'll meet the man who has turned the industry on its head, and still manages to turn a remarkable profit.

(Camera change; side view)

AM: Before we continue, we want to remind our viewers that for this exclusive look into the fluffy trade, we have temporarily moved this program to 10pm because of the graphic content that will be shown. Please keep all children and fluffy biotoy pets out of range of this show, at least for tonight. Our regular schedule will return next week.

(Camera change; front view; stock MyFluffy adverts and videos play above host shoulder)

AM: Tonight we go inside the flagship complex of the largest fluffy breeding and processing company in the world, which has grown from one small farm operation as a proof of concept to over three thousand full size facilities in only five years. But it didn't start from nothing, in fact, it started at the top of the playing field, some say with an unfair advantage. If the name Peter Manfield, the CEO of Fluff Farms, isn't familiar to you, then certainly his first endeavor, MyFluffy, is. The darling of the designer fluffy field, Mr. Manfield's company's ability to somehow deliver custom ordered fluffies in record time exploded ten years ago, bringing both fame and fortune. MyFluffy fluffies command prices ranging from a mere couple of hundred dollars to ones that can run in the tens of thousands. While Mr. Manfield wouldn't discuss specifics, he did admit to us that one or two have commanded six figures. That's a lot for mere biotoys.

(Camera change; side view)

AM: His Fluff Farms, each one a sprawling complex of various barns, power plants, and processing facilities initially provided the low cost meat substitutes for Fluff Burger here in Tennat City, yet another successful entrant exploring the once forbidden areas of manmade creations. But now his facilities exist in nearly every country in the world, providing a well-received source of food in areas devastated by the same menaces it seeks to exploit. Fluff Farms provides a new source of jobs, food, and various biotoy products around the world, delivering to manufacturers and retailers around the world.

(Camera change; video showing decrepit farms and mills; full screen)

AM: But as you can see from the video, this is nothing new. Cramped farms and mills for fluffies have been around for decades, seen as both sources and sinks for feral fluffies. But what Mr. Manfield has introduced is unique.

(Camera change; video showing clean, sturdy pens, filled with fluffies; full screen)

AM: Clean, cared for, and profitable as well. Where so many hopeful breeders and ranchers have failed, he has succeeded.

(Camera change; stock footage of Peter Manfield; full screen)

AM: MyFluffy became a sensation. Nobody in their right mind saw much value in fluffies when he started. Why buy a designer fluffy when you could walk nearly anywhere in the world and pick one up off the street? Worthless and collected up as vermin, only the insane would try to become a custom breeder at that point in time. For many, it still is an insane economic risk to take, one that seems to repeat itself so many times. But MyFluffy promised something different. Rumors persist that Mr. Manfield found a storehouse of Hasbio documents describing the development and processes used to originally create fluffies. Mr. Manfield denies this, but his admiration of the minds behind this new creation is obvious from talking to him and so the rumors persist.

(Camera change; front view of host; pop-in video of MyFluffies being advertised and sold)

AM: MyFluffy offered what Hasbio originally intended, what was to be the final product some might add. Polite and loving pets, well disciplined and suitable for young children, and a friend for life. No more fecal and urine accidents and the accompanying stains. No fragile bone structure, and certainly no Smarty-syndrome biotoys. Sterile animals with no desire for procreation. For an incentive on top of that, you could order your fluffy in any custom color combination. No more undesirable colors clogging up shelters, nor out in the wild destroying crops, parks, and generally everything edible.

(Camera change; side view of host; full view)

AM: Obviously, at the beginning, there were doubts by a large diverse cross section of the population. But word started to spread that someone had finally managed to achieve an actual useful pet from the Fluffy stock. With obedient and durable fluffies came the masses with their money, finally able to purchase the pet that they were promised so many decades ago. Certainly, feral populations are still a problem, what Mr. Manfield refers to as the "1.0" generation, but their numbers are slowly decreasing thanks to efforts across the world. And MyFluffy's warranty against the bad behaviors seen in their earlier incarnations has stood the test of time. We tried finding someone who legitimately was able to claim against MyFluffy, but all our leads either led us to charlatans trying to pass off feral fluffies as MyFluffies, or outright fabrications. MyFluffy and its product became the place to get the high end companions that Hasbio envisioned. But then, the man behind all of that got into the most basic use of fluffies, as a source of protein.

(Camera change; Peter Manfield at desk with AM across)

AM: Mr. Manfield, why fluffy meat?

Peter Manfield: I love efficiency. It's my first love, really. (laughs) And without getting into too many details, the MyFluffy processes don't result in what the customer wants every time, and it was simply a waste to incinerate so many failures. True, MyFluffy was making more than enough to make up for that, but I didn't like it. It wasn't proper. And so I started looking for ways to make use of the discards.

AM: When we drove in to your facility here we couldn't help being surprised by all of it. It's very large, isn't it? Can you give us a brief rundown of what a Fluff Farms facility entails?

PM: Of course!

(Camera change; PM voice over videos of the buildings, both on ground and arial drone photos)

PM: The base of our facilities are the barns. That's where we segregate the fluffies into individual colors and keep similar colors together. While we're able to avoid the "bad babbeh" syndrome so common a source of failure with previous farming attempts, we find it decreases the stress and helps produce better product when we are able to do that separation. We don't always manage that, but it is a general goal.

(Camera change; power plant video; workers with ear muffs and full protective suits)

PM: Powering everything is our recycling facility. This brings in all the waste products from the various processes and turns them into power. We run on fluffy power here!

(Camera change; inside desk view again)

AM: We noticed that you still have a power connection. Is that not providing some power?

PM: Actually, we have that connection to send power out. We produce more than we need, so sell it at a discount to the power utilities, where we can. In a lot of our locations, there's not a power connection for tens if not hundreds of kilometers around, and so we don't have that connection. We've started several pilot programs where company towns have popped up near our facilities, and we provide the power for those.

AM: Keeping the fluffies by color, don't you have problems if there are foals born in different colors?

PM: Not really! We convince the mares that their own color is the color of their waste, and that breaks them of that.

AM: And how do you do that? Trade secret?

PM: (laughs) It is, a little bit, but the information isn't mine. I found and tried it a long time ago, before MyFluffy even, and was surprised it worked! It's ingeniously simple; just feed massive amounts of food coloring to the fluffy in the same color as its own fluff! Once it defecates and tries to dispose of the "bad color", it does something to their programming. It literally breaks them inside somewhere, like a programmable computer chip, such as FPGAs. Only organic.

AM: Are you worried about us telling the world how to get rid of poopie fluffies?

PM: No, seriously. Tell whoever you want. I found it on a forum, and the post was old when I read it. I'm out about five or ten minutes of research I did decades ago. Normally, breeders are just lazy and don't take the time to instill the aversion to "ugly" colors. Laziness on the part of others has been one of my best business partners! We've found that we can do it on such a large scale that it helps us tremendously. Consider it a gift to your viewers.

(Camera change; AM and PM walking outside at a barn with a large wide red stripe along the middle; AM voiceover)

AM: We've taken the "red bus". It's a custom transport vehicle designed for the needs of Fluff Farms. Each barn's color has their own bus that runs between that barn, the others of the same color, and the main building, typically in the center. Construction begins with the main building, and holds the "seed" herd which eventually grows and then seeds the other barns around the facility. Each barn other than the main is color coordinated, even with the workers' uniforms inside. Right now, we've just arrived from that main building with the new occupants of "Red Barn 4", red weanling mares from every barn across the facility.

(Camera change; an intake station at one end of the building, with two crates of red foals being unloaded)

PM: Angelya, this is Joel. Joel, please show her and the viewers what you are doing.

Joel: Hi! Well, to starts with, we got these new mares coming in. Each one gets a tag, see? (holds up a little gun-like device to camera). It's connected to the main computer and gives each one a unique code, like this:

(Camera zooms in on worker's hands; a young red mare squirms on a table; Joel puts the device over the ear and squeezes; loud “thunk” is heard)

Foal: SCREEE! CHIRP!

Device: Code Registered: Red Five One Three Seven

Foal: FWUFFY NAME AM FIWONFWEESEBEN! WUV NU NAME!

(Camera zooms out; foal is put down a chute to the interior of the barn)

PM: (laughs) So many of them do that! It's adorable, isn't it?

(Camera change; interior shot; other side of the chute)

PM: And this is where they arrive from outside.

(Camera zooms in on fluffy coming down the chute, falling into a layer of foam, which it walks up from and starts to wander in the pen)

AM (voiceover): We're introduced to Batte, one of the barn workers. She's in charge of this red barn, one of four on the facility, with a fifth being built.

(Camera change; Batte and AM walking down with a cart of the foals)

Batte: Once they come down the chute, my job is to take them to their new homes. While they're in the cart, we go over the instructions that they should already have memorized from being with their mothers. Then each one gets a freshly cleaned pen and they start their life as a breeder here.

AM: Mothers? They stay with their mother?

Batte: Yes. No milkbags here. I've heard horror stories and I'm glad I work at someplace that doesn't do that.

(Camera change; Batte puts a red weanling into the new pen; the walls are 35cm tall and easily stepped over by people)

Batte: For the first week, we give them special food...

PM: This is the food coloring overload I was telling you about.

Batte: You told?! Well, you're the boss. Yes, we have food laden with dye. Then they poop colored turds, red in this case. We don't open the litter grates until they've been broken of the habit of calling anything brown or dark green a poopie color.

AM: How can you tell when they finally get it? That they're poopie colored?

Batte: Oh, it's really easy to tell. At first, they'll poop in just one tiny area of the grate that will eventually open up for the waste products. It's like they're ashamed of it, you know? But then, once the short circuit has happened, they'll just go all over the litter box area. It's like they've accepted that they are the actual poop color.

AM: I see! Now Mr Manfield, you're certain you're okay with us letting it out that fluffies can be reprogramed like this?

PM: (laughs) I'm sure! This isn't anything new. If you go to the really hugboxer sites, you can usually find it among the more experienced authors. Problem is, there are not a lot of the old timers. Usually a hugboxer becomes an abuser or abstainer at some point. It doesn't take much time. And besides, these aren't MyFluffy fluffies. These are mostly ferals, our own 1.0 breeding stock, or MyFluffy discards that don't have the complete requirements that make it a 2.0 fluffy, if you will. So I'm letting nothing go of value.

AM: But these MyFluffy discards are able to breed? I thought a MyFluffy couldn't?

PM: I did say they didn't meet the requirements. And that's one of them, unless we specifically need a breeder, but how that happens is a trade secret that I won't be letting slip.

(Camera change; Batte is in the pen with the new breeding mare, explaining to the fluffy and the camera)

Batte: Okay, Red 5151, here's the milk bar, and there's where you put your teats when you need to give it milkies.

Red 5151: JUS’ WIKE MUMMAH?

Batte: Yup! (to the camera) This is an auto milker, for when the mare is between litters, or just needs some relief. It records how much milk is produced, and at thirty liters, this indicator gets to the top and lets the workers know that the fluffy deserves a special treat.

AM: A special treat? Sketties I assume?

Batte: Uh huh! It only allows the mare to be milked after the first two weeks of giving birth so a mare won't be tempted to hold back milk from the foals. Which is silly anyway since the mares will learn that while they have babies they'll get sketties every night. It's more for when the foals are starting to be weaned and between pregnancies.

(Camera swings to where Batte is pointing)

Batte: And over there is the autobox. It's the automatic litterbox. Right now, we've got a plate under it that keeps things from dropping through, so she can see the turds she makes. New mares have to go through that process first but once they've had the mental break we can pull the plate. All the waste gets collected in one spot and is then taken over to the biofuel plant.

(Camera follows Batte as she repeats the process for every foal)

AM: And now that you've got them all in their pens, what next?

Batte: Oh! I love this part! It's the releasing of the bulls! (laughs) Well, stallions, I guess!

(Camera change; long view down a long pen, with red fluffies visible on either side in their pens)

(The gates at one end open, and a fluffy stampede slowly runs down the bullpen)

AM: And these are the males?

Batte: Yes, these are our ten breeding studs for this set of pens. They've come to say hello to the new mares.

(Camera follows one fluffy stallion to another as they run down the cages, nosing old friends and new)

(Camera change; AM and PM facing each other)

AM: Now, I notice that these aren't all red? There are a couple of blue ones, and that one is yellow?

PM: We don't really breed for colors here. That's a MyFluffy thing! What we're doing here is following a formula that the central computer generates, which ones have the right genetics for the products we make.

AM: And they're all very interested with that one?

(Camera pans to the bullpen again; half the stallions are at one pen, and the other others are converging on it)

Batte: Ah, yes. Well, one reason to let the stallions have the long run that they do is that they are our best method of figuring out which mares are ready to breed. And that little filly seems to be agreeable.

(Camera change; outside the pen of the mare in heat, stallions gathered around the back fence)

(Batte scans the mare's tag with a small, handheld computer interface)

Batte: Let's see who the lucky guy is!

AM: Lucky guy?

PM: One of them. (points at the back of the pen) Right now the central computer has been told that this mare is ready to be bred. It is calculating which of the stallion studs in this barn will give us the best chance at what we might need.

AM: And what might that be?

PM: It could be that we're breeding normally, but the computer keeps track of the expected life of the stallions, if we're getting short on certain colors, and also we're tied into what needs the MyFluffy program might need.

AM: MyFluffy is part of this?

PM: Of course! One of the reasons I started Fluff Farms was for a readily known stock to choose from. I could do it all with ferals, as that's too inefficient since I don't know what they're like, what their lineage is. That sort of thing. For anything here, I know its entire pedigree going back generations. I know what genes it currently carries and what it doesn't.

Batte: Central says it's Blue 4899.

Blue 4899: FWUFFY AM FOWAYNININ! FWUFFY GIB BESTEST SPESHUH HUGGIES!

(Camera pans away as it starts humping air)

Batte: So you are! (lifts Blue 4899 over pen wall into pen)

AM voiceover: Let's give these two a little privacy. It's nothing you can't see on any alley anymore anyway.

(Camera change; in front of another mare pen, with several nearly full grown foals)

AM: Now, Mr. Manfield, I notice the blocks embedded in the back of the pen. What do they do?

PM: Those are just blocks, toys, but ones that can't be removed from the walls. The stallions can run up and down the pens, pushing them towards the mare's side. The foals, or often the mares themselves, can push them back out. It allows there to be some play and interaction between the two, but still keep the breeding under our control. It gives the pregnant mares something fun to do while they wait to give birth, as well.

(Off camera)

Red 4316: BIGGEST POOPIES!

Batte: Wonderful! You can catch this on camera!

(Camera change, run to nearby pen)

AM voiceover: While we watch, Red 4316 gives birth to a new generation for Fluff Farms. Five in total, two red like their mother, one blue, and two green like their father, we're told by the central computer. But that doesn't seem to matter to Red 4316. She's going to do something that's not tolerated inside the Fluff Farms facility. She's picked a best baby.

Red 4316: BWU BABBEH AM BESTEST BABY!

(Audio note: the constant fluffy chatter from nearby pens halts immediately)

Batte: Looks like you're going to get to see everything today.

(Camera pans to Batte; she pulls out a whistle from a pocket and blows it)

(Audio note: the remaining fluffy chatter in the barn goes deathly quiet)

PM: That's the attention whistle. Every worker has one.

Batte (addressing the fluffies in a loud voice): Attention fluffies! Red 4316 has said one of her babies is a best baby!

(Audio note: a few fluffy gasps are heard)

Batte: What kind of mother says she has a best baby?

Fluffies in near unison: A BAD MUMMAH!

Batte: That's right! And what happens to bad mothers?

Fluffies again: FOWEBAH SWEEPIES!

Batte: Very good!

Fluffies: AN BAD MUMMAHS NO GO TO SKETTIEWAND! BAD MUMMAHS GET FOWEBAH BUWNIES!

(Camera change; swings to PM in full view)

PM: Just to note, our training conditions them to give the first two responses. The skettieland thing, and the burning, we don't know where it came from. We think they came up with it on their own.

AM voiceover: We'll see how this is used to Fluff Farms' advantage later.

(Camera change back to Batte)

Batte: Now, Red 4316, you have five babies. Aren't they all the best?

Red 4316: NO! BWU AM BESTEST BABBEH! GONNA GWOW UP BIG AN GIB MEANIE WADY WOWSTEST HUWTIES AN...

(PM has reaches into the pen and snaps the mother's neck killing it instantly)

(Batte nods to PM, then puts the whistle away; picks up Red 4316's corpse and loops a rope around a leg, tossing the rope around a brace above the pen, face down, and secures it tightly)

PM: We have some good babies that need new mothers! Do we have volunteers?

(Camera swings to left)

Red 4423: FOFOTOFWEE AM GUD MUMMAH! GIB BABBEH?

Batte: That's very sweet of you, but you've got six already and can't take more.

(Camera follows Batte as she makes a mark on the info plate on the front of Red 4423's pen when the mare isn't looking)

Batte (to camera): We reward good fluffies, but we don't want to encourage Smarty-syndrome, thus the secret mark. She'll get a special treat later for her kindness.

(Camera watches a couple of workers carry Red 4316's babies around; placing them in various pens)

AM voiceover: Very quickly, after the CEO of Fluff Farms has made his snap decision, literally, on Red 4316's fate, the new foals are placed with foster mothers. We watched as each worker make the same special mark on the info plates of the pens. Each foster mother would get a special reward that night. Mr. Manfield tells us that this can vary between treats, toys, and extra time in the park, which we'll see shortly.

AM: So, Mr Manfield, was that some executive decision making in action?

PM: No, I was just closer to the mare. Batte and every worker here is constantly on the lookout for issues that come up and are trained to handle situations like this. Now if you look here...

(Camera follows PM's finger, pointing down to the info plate at an "S" written on one corner)

PM: This mark says that she's already been reprimanded once for smarty like behavior. Two chances are all she gets. We don't give a third.

AM: Why no third?

PM: Because two chances is all we need. One time might be a slip, but twice is a pattern. In the beginning, we really tried to dissuade this, and gave much more than three strikes. But the data didn't lie. Once it happened twice, it was more or less hardwired to happen again. We don't want to waste time with that sort here. Once an "S" goes on, any employee is authorized to cull the mare immediately should it happen again.

(Audio note: buzzer is heard)

PM (excited): Oh! I was hoping you'd be here for a rotation! Come, we have to hurry. They are under orders not to wait, even for me.

(Camera change, hurried walking down between pens)

(Camera change, wall with no windows and one door with a light above it, green)

PM: In here is our play pen for the mares and the foals.

(Camera change, PM opens door and camera walks into garden like setting)

AM: Is this the play pen?

PM: It is! We rotate the mares per row in here for some park like fun. If you look in the corners, you can see the cameras.

AM voiceover: During our pre-interview off camera, Mr. Manfield was most excited to describe the play pen. It's a large garden like enclosure where they let the mares come in with their foals and socialize with the other mares in their row. The cameras he has pointed out are the reason we cannot be in there with the mares. It's in actuality a large recording studio, and the footage of the Fluff Farms fluffies is sent out to FluffTV, where a lot of the footage is purchased by the "Babbehs!" show. With a constant rotation of new foals, it is yet another example of Mr Manfield's mantra of efficiency.

PM: So as we were talking about before, the mares get three hours in the pen, and we cycle through all the rows. The stallions get time as well, but mostly in early morning and late evenings when the sun isn't right for filming. Then there in the upper corners we have the sun and heat lamps for during the winter.

AM: And the big doors are up there?

PM (looking up): Right! We can roll those down during cold spells, and they let the sunlight in but help keep the place warm. We like to let them have as much fresh air as possible, and this is the way we do that, other than the ventilation system inside the barn.

AM voiceover: Mr. Manfield explained off camera that he's found that letting the mares and foals go to "the park", as the fluffies have named it, helps keep the fluffies of all ages mentally together more than a lifetime of confinement in a cage.

PM: Yes, it certainly helps. We've found the meat that is produced by our fluffies is superior when they get this stimulation and nearly outside activity. And the income from it doesn't hurt, but we don't really get much from this.

AM: Really? Is there not the market for that?

(Camera change; mares and foals start to walk into the play pen; AM and PM walk out and the door shuts)

PM: Well, "Babbehs!" is really the only purchasers of the footage from in here. We have a contract to provide them content exclusively, and so it pays for the upkeep of the play pen and the workers who shuffle the fluffies in and out. But not much past that.

AM (voice over): As we'll see later, this isn't the only income stream that the love of fluffies provides. There's a dark side to it as well. More on that in a moment.

(Transcription Break: Commercial break; content not retained in archive)

(Camera opens, repeating the foals walking into the park pen)

AM (voice over): We now continue with our exclusive look inside Fluff Farms, and the time arrives to showcase the main purpose of the facility.

(Audio note; party noise makers and party poppers are heard over the PA system in the barn; a cheer arises from the fluffies)

AM: And what was that, Mr. Manfield?

PM: Ah! That's just a little thing we do to get the fluffies excited. Today is Friday, and at the end of the day comes collection.

AM: That's where the facility collects the product.

PM: That is correct.

(Camera change; PM and AM walk to the other side of the barn again; stopping at a man with a cart)

PM: Mike, care to explain what you're doing?

Mike: Sure thing! It’s collection time, and we are now taking all the weanlings from their mothers and sending them on to processing. Lil' blighters think they're going to skettiland.

AM: Skettiland? That's from before, when the foals from that mother were being handed out?

PM: Right. But that's just their little myth that they came up with. While our worker training does prohibit from telling the fluffies outright fabrications, we also understand that somehow, this is their own thing. So we don't discuss skettiland in front of them, either for or against.

(Camera change; Mike is in a fluffy pen, and is picking put the foals and putting them in the cart)

Red 4387: BYE BYE BABBEHS! HUU HUU! MUMMAH WUV YOU! BE GOOD BABBEHS IN SKETTIWAND!

AM: She seems okay with this? I've heard that there usually are problems with separating the mother and her foals?

PM: In lesser facilities, yes. But we have our conditioning, some of which is carried over from MyFluffy practices, but a lot of it has to do with the belief in skettiland. Which, you can see, is why we don't really discourage that thinking.

(Camera change; Mike pushes the cart to the next pen and goes to collect the single blue foal; it runs behind its mother)

Blue Foal: NO! NO WAN GO! FWUFFY WAN GO SKETTIEWAND! WAN STAY WIF UDDAH BADDEHS! HUU HUU HUU!

AM (off screen): This one isn't going to skettieland?

(camera change; full view of PM and AM)

PM: Processing. We say processing. Never skettieland. But no, it's not going to processing. This little mark here (points to pen plate) is the reason that this mother has only the one foal. One of her foals had been identified by the central computer as specialized breeding stock based on her mother's info, and so the other foals were fostered out to give this one a stronger indoctrination into the mother's lot which will be her's as well. She's going to be tagged here, then taken to another barn, blue of course, and from the looks of it, she would rather go with her neighbors.

AM: But doesn't she know what happens at ske... processing?

PM: No. We don't tell them that either. Perhaps that's why they came up with the skettiland story, to fill that knowledge gap. But I don't think we'd have such well-adjusted fluffies nor as smooth an operation, if they really knew. But then again, they are fluffies and they'd forget after a day or two.

AM: Have they ever found out?

PM: Once or twice an employee has had, let's say a dark demeanor. Usually, our background investigation identifies those people, and we don't hire them. But, everybody has a bad day, and sometimes things just happen.

AM: So were the fluffies upset?

PM: They were! And the employee was really despondent over what they'd done, and apologized personally several times.

AM: Were they fired?

PM: Oh, heavens no! Anybody could have a slip like that, and we put too much time and money in each of our employees to get rid of one just for such a small slip. The person in question was reassigned to a different barn so a link to the memory was removed, and we managed to get the fluffies in the upset group calmed down.

AM: They calmed down even after finding out their fate?

PM: The power of sketties! And huggies. We brought in a couple of extra workers and managed to get the situation resolved after a couple of days through personal attention and distraction. Toys, extra play. That sort of thing.

AM: Just like that?

PM: Just like that.

(Camera change; Mike is whispering to the blue foal behind its mother, and it slowly waddles out dripping tears and gives the "upsies" pose)

Mike (hugging foal): There ya go! That's a good fluffy! Now, say goodbye to your good momma!

Blue Foal: BYE, GOOD MUMMAH! BABBEH WUV YOU!

Red 4387: BYE BABBEH! GIB BABBEH'S BABBEHS WOTS OF WUB AN HUGGIES! GIB WOTS OF MIWKIES!

Blue Foal: OKAY MUMMAH! BABBEH BE GOOD MUMMAH!

(Camera change; Blue foal gets put in a different, smaller cart section, still crying, and the collection continues)

AM: So what did you tell it to get it to come out like that?

Mike: That's pretty easy. I just talked to it about having babies of her own. The drive to breed is pretty strong, and explained that some day when she couldn't have babies any more, she'd get to go as well.

AM: And you said skettieland or processing?

Mike (laughs): Neither! That's a bit too complicated. I just said she'd get to go. Literally, that's it. She'd get to go.

(Camera change; the collection bins are loaded onto the barn's dock. The blue filly gets a tag and scan from Joel, then set down apart from the other foals in the bigger box)

Blue Foal: BWUE FIWONWONSEBEN WUV NEW NAME!

AM: And so that one goes to the blue barn?

PM: Yes, similar to the ones we saw being brought in earlier. We have several runs each collection day to each barn, so it’s a constant stream of foals back and forth across the facility.

(Camera change; Blue 5117's box gets loaded onto a transport)

AM: Now I notice that she's gone in with other blues, but there's a gold box there. Do you really have gold fluffies here?

PM: No, no. That box just denotes which fluffies are going into the MyFluffy facilities, or it is a high demand fluffy that goes to high end pet stores. They'll be sent to the shipping barn and out from there.

AM: So if it goes to a pet store, is it still a MyFluffy?

PM: No, it's just a 1.0 version. Occasionally an extremely valuable fluffy is bred, and it's worth more to us to sell it outright.

AM: Like an alicorn?

PM: Oh, that's super rare. I think we've had one alicorn born here in five years. It's not something that really happens to us.

AM: But I've seen a lot of stories about owners having problems with their breeding mares and alicorns?

PM: I really don't know about that. We don't even condition our mares for an alicorn birth, it's such a rare occurrence. I think it’s actually more likely some abuser making up a Mary Sue abuse story with an interestingly rare event than anything coming close to reality.

(Camera change; AM and PM riding back and arriving at the main building)

AM (voice over): We travel back to the main building, which Mr. Manfield explains to me has the collection holding pens for the processing half. It's there were we see all the fluffies coming from all the barns being brought. And the excitement is palpable.

(Camera change; a red mare is excitedly looking into the camera

Red 4287: WED FOWTOATESEBEN AM GOIN' SKETTIEWAND! SO HAPPIES!

AM (off camera): Oh, really?

Red 4287: YES! BEEN GOOD FWUFFY MUMMAH! HAB WOTS OF BABBEHS AN AM GOIN' SKETTIEWAND! AM GO SEE AWW BABBEHS!

(Camera change; back to PM and AM standing full height)

AM: So she is going through processing?

PM: She is. If you notice, she's got three black tags in her ear. That means she's been bred three times and failed to produce a litter. When the breeders start to get older, they don't produce as much. But sometimes it's just little stresses that cause things to happen, and they snap back to being useful. But, after three such attempts, then it is time for us to cycle a breeder into processing.

AM: That all sounds like very corporate words to describe the process.

PM (laughs): Well, they are very corporate words for a very corporate business. And it is a business, and so we use business words to make the entire thing mesh.

AM (voiceover): Now the action begins.

(audio note: loud "attention" whistle, similar to the barn is heard; fluffy chatter stops)

(Camera change; focus on worker at far end of the large fluffy pen)

Worker: Fluffies! You will be going on this little spinney ride here! There's a walk on the outside to bring you to the carousel, and then you will get on the carousel and face outwards! If you need to do a good poopie or peepee, there is a grate on the spinney ride. Once you are on the other side, put your head in the hole that will show up in front of you, and then you will need to press one of three buttons! The first button has sketties on it, the second has sweet milkies on it, and the third has a special friend on it! Please pick one of these three buttons now so you don't have to wait! You will push one of these buttons, do you understand?

Fluffy crowd: YES!

(camera change; AM and PM are at the carousel)

AM: This takes them to the other side, so to speak?

PM: It does. This is the start of the processing.

AM: It's almost looks like an amusement ride.

PM: The same company that builds amusement rides builds these for us. The technology is the same, just the size is smaller. We've found that the same goal is in both places, get on the ride as stress free and as easily as possible.

Worker (to fluffies): I want all the mummy and daddy fluffies to form a nice line and go first! Show the babies how a good fluffy acts, okay!?

Fluffy crowd: OKAY!

PM: Please note, we aren't promising anything here. No skettiland, no sketties, milkies, or special friend.

AM: But he just announced that the buttons were for sketties, milk, or friends?

PM: No, no he didn't. He said that there were pictures of those three items. We never said anything about receiving that particular item.

AM: Isn't that the same as lying? To a small creature like this?

PM: No. Lying is lying, and we haven't lied.

AM: And what does each of those buttons do?

PM: It doesn't matter. All three buttons are the same circuit. They start the processing.

(Camera change, video of fluffies get on the slow moving sidewalk, then onto the carousel and then rotates behind the wall)

AM: I see our little Red 4287 is in line now.

PM: So she is. Shall we follow her?

(Camera change, AM and PM walk through the set of double doors in wall)

(Transcription Break: Commercial break; content not retained in archive)

(video of fluffies boarding the carousel)

AM (voiceover): Back to the fluffies and the start of processing. If you haven't shooed young children and fluffies out of the room, this is your last warning. Explicit content follows.

(Camera change: Red 4287 is waving to the camera as she has boarded the start of the carousel, and is about 10 slots away from going behind the wall)

(Camera change; a sterile looking processing machine awaits, and an empty carousel rotates back into the fluffy holding pen)

AM: What are we seeing here?

PM: This is the start of the adult processing facility. That's why it’s a bit colder here. We actually pump the heat from here into the fluffy pens. Efficiency again. But the real refrigeration is down the line.

(camera change; sudden swing to the carousel and Red 4287 who waves again. Another device lines up with her slot, she sticks her head in, smashes a button in front of her, and her body goes limp except for a back leg that starts kicking)

(audio note; a loud puff is heard and over a speaker comes the phrase "WUV SKETTIES!")

AM: Was that really her last words?

PM: No, that wasn't her. We play a sound bite based on which button was pushed. It keeps the next fluffy in line ready for what's coming.

AM: But it's not what they're expecting.

PM: It isn't, but then again, they never know that, even at the end. Except for the foals. We never found a way to process them by machine, so they get processed by hand, start to finish.

(Camera change; Red 4287 has been picked up by the rear legs with some mechanical hooks, and a guillotine slices off the head that was in the hole; blood starts pouring out as the body is lifted away. A spray of water hits the head box, and it rotates back for the next fluffy)

AM (voiceover): And away the meat goes. From here, it's processed, both adult and foal alike.

(Camera change; showing fluffies getting skinned, gutted, and the extremities removed, finally ending up at a long line of fluffy carcasses hanging while a man in a white coat looks at each one)

PM: Now, you can see here, we have an inspector reviewing all the products.

AM: Is this a government inspector?

PM: No, we don't let the government inspect a product until we have a chance first. So only Grade A fluffy meat is processed into whole or quarter fluffies, sent out to stores around the world. Anything less than Grade A is processed to remove the flaws, and the perfect cuts of meat are sent on to become either nuggets or paste.

AM: What use is paste?

PM: Fluffy meat paste is a major component of the Fluff Burger secret special sauce, which is made over in that room there.

(Camera change; view of a closed off part of the facility)

AM: We'll get to see that?!

PM: Of course not! That would be giving away the secret.

(Camera change; AM and PM talking near a railing)

AM: You said the security to get in there is taken very seriously. What can you tell us about it, if you won't show us the actual room?

PM: You're interested in the security?

AM: Yes. We have watched a few workers walk in, and we noticed that they have to take a breathalyzer test to get it. Is it because you've got a drinking problem here?

PM (laughs): No, no, nothing of the sort. Okay, I can tell you a little bit, but only of what you can see from outside here.

(Camera change; security door to the sauce room)

PM: Here is our fingerprint scanner. Obviously, it takes two fingers to register. The not obvious part will remain secret. Here's the retina scanner that is done as well.

AM: Two biometric scans?

PM: No, three. The breathalyzer, as you called it, doesn't check for alcohol content. It actually runs a scan of the employee's breath, comparing a spectral analysis given against a known range.

AM: You check that the person is breathing properly?

PM: More or less.

AM: And what science drives that?

PM: Sorry, trade secret.

(Camera change; back to the railing)

AM: Isn't this a lot of security overkill for a culinary secret?

PM (laughs): A quadrillion fluff burgers are sold every year worldwide. This Fluff Farms facility is the only source of that special ingredient that makes it such a hit. My only worry is that those security measures aren't enough to really keep the espionage at bay.

AM: So what does keep it at bay? Why does it manage to remain a secret?

PM: Only workers who are at the top of the seniority list, and pass an extensive background check, get to work in that room. And even then, there are safeguards so that they don't know too much. It's a risk to have the secret, as too many people would be willing to kill, literally, for that secret.

AM: Why tell us then? And our viewers?

PM: Part of that is in the hope that letting it be known that trying to pry the secret from just one employee of ours isn't going to work. They simply do not know everything that happens in that room. Maybe by letting that be public, we can save our employees a lot of hassle.

AM: What hassle would that be?

PM: We actually had an employee get offered a bribe to wear a camera in there.

AM: And was that employee fired? Criminal charges?

PM: If they'd taken the bribe, of course. However, these are our top employees here, and were trained in what to look for in cases of espionage. They turned the issue over to security, who brought the issue up with law enforcement.

AM: What was the result of that?

PM: The person offering the bribe is now serving eight to ten in a federal prison.

AM: That serious?

PM: That serious.

AM: But that employee could have made out with a lot of money then. How was that not a large bait to take?

PM: It normally would be, but we aren't a normal fluffy mill. No, the people who work in that room make more than I do as CEO of Fluff Farms.

AM: They make more than you? How is that possible?

PM: For one, they make a lot of money. I'm serious. They're very well paid.

AM: But you're worth millions, so how can they be as well paid?

PM: I don't really pay myself much, when compared with other CEOs. Fluff Farms is about my desire to not waste things. MyFluffy pays me the big bucks. This (waves arms) is just good business.

AM: So in other words, because you don't pay yourself much, you can make that claim? That they make more than you?

PM: Let's not play "gotcha". I make a lot more than basic six figures at Fluff Farms as CEO. Those people are making mid to high six figures. That's no joke. They are very well compensated.

AM: That's... very unusual.

PM: We're not a common company.

(Camera change; Large bin filled with discards; heads, internal organs, and other waste products)

AM: Now this looks horrific! Like a vison from hell!

PM: Some might think of it that way, but this is what powers our lights.

AM: This refuse?!

PM: Yes! It gets sent to the biofuel plant, where it is consumed by microbes and converted into fuel gas. That fuel gas powers us. I hate wasting things.

AM: But surely you trash some?

PM: Oh, we have to have a trash truck come in once a month to dispose of things we can’t recycle, but I'm serious when I say I don't want things wasted. It's important.

(Camera change; close up view of camera on the ceiling; stock footage of processing of fluffies, but zooming in to the cameras persistent everywhere, then back to AM and PM at a railing)

AM (voice over): Now comes a little surprise that Mr. Manfield has in store for me. And it blew me away.

AM: I have to ask. All throughout this tour, we've noted that there are cameras everywhere.

PM: Yes.

AM: In the fluffy pens, they were numerous, but here in processing I note that they're double what the pens have. Is this to fend off any attacks? That you're treating the fluffies inhumanely?

PM: As I said before, the cameras are mostly in the pens to watch for wasteful practices. But here, no, they're not here for any abusive defenses. Fluff Farms is dedicated to treating the fluffies right, and doing the right thing down the line, because it is good business. If nobody cared what we did, and we could do anything we want behind closed doors, we would still be doing things exactly as you've seen them done here today. It's just good practice. Any employee that would abuse the fluffies hurts business.

AM: How do you keep the abusers out?

PM: We have our methods, and prospective employees are run though a very extensive investigation. Anybody with an abuse bent is kept away from our paychecks.

AM: So there are no abusers in the facility.

PM: We know of one.

AM: So there is abuse here?

PM: No, which is why we haven't let your camera man out of our sight.

(Camera change; AM's camera drops view, but body cam footage from a security guard starts to play)

PM: You see, we made sure to investigate you and your entire crew today. Your camera man wouldn't be hired for anything here. Which is why he (camera shows PM point to the security guard with body cam) has been ever present here during the tour. Your camera man is on our Fluff Farms abuser watch list.

AM (turning to camera man): Steven? What the hell is he talking about?

Steven: Uh...

AM: You son of a bitch?! You're an abuser?

Steven: Now wait a minute...

AM: You motherfucker! Have you fucked up my entire story? If you have, so help me god, I will take a knife and cut off...

PM: Calm down, calm down! We wouldn't have let him in unless we felt he was low risk to our operations.

AM: But he's a fucking abuser?!

PM: Not necessarily. He's on our watch list. And... we note that he's one of our longest subscribers.

AM: Subscriber?

Steven: Oh, man. You know?!

PM: We do. It's okay, we're not mad. You didn't try to deceive us.

Steven: Man, I'd have let her cut my left nut just to get this assignment!

AM: What the hell?! Is that why you fought so hard for this assignment? You bastard!

(Camera change; happy fluffies play in the play pen, and bounce a ball back and forth)

AM (voiceover): Admittedly, I was not prepared that one of our own here was an abuser. Or at least, abusive tendencies. But Mr. Manfield let me in on a little secret. It took me a while to calm down, but eventually, we continued the tour)

(Camera change; AM and PM at the railing again)

AM: Are you worried about the popularity of fluffy abuse? And the calls to abolish it, or re-criminalize it?

PM: I'm confident that will never happen.

AM: Why? What makes you so sure?

PM: Our investigations into potential employees. We cast a very wide net, legally of course, and the fish we bring up sometimes surprises even us.

AM: For example?

PM: No, you won't be getting that from me. Another trade secret. But what I will tell you is that the abusers are from everywhere. Elected officials, appointed officials, simple government employees. Non-government employees. We've noted from our data research that abuse is well represented evenly among every division you can come up with. Gender, age, economic background, income level, sexual orientation, and political belief. There's a large abusive, or potential abusive, segment in each one of those. True non-abusers are the minority, which includes yourself. Might be why you don't know your own.

AM: But the last three candidates for prime minister have all stated that decreasing abuse of fluffies as part of their platform.

PM (laughs): And all three wouldn't get hired here because of our research. Along with every candidate from the past thirty years. Some of them have no record, but show the patterns we’ve discovered. And others, well, while they managed to keep their online abuser identity secret to the public, we know it.

AM: That's simply not believable.

(Camera note; camera starts to shake, switches to body camera of security guard again)

PM: See? Steven knows.

Steven (laughing): Oh, yeah, she doesn't know. You definitely need to get out of your bubble. The people I've met!

PM: I'm certain!

(Camera change; back to AM and PM at the railing again; camera has regained a steady view)

AM: Explain to me about your subscribers.

PM: Simply put, those are the cameras you see all around the facility. Other than the footage from the play room, which gets sold to FluffTV, we offer several subscription video services.

AM: For abusers?

PM: For everybody. Abusers sure. We have services where one can watch each individual fluffy through the start of processing to the end where it is either raw packed or flash frozen. Or, they can just sit and watch the knocker machine cycle the fluffies. It is one of the most popular. That streaming video makes up fully 20% of our costs of fluffy upkeep. Most of what comes in from the processing line goes to taking care of the fluffies. People who don't want to watch the abuse, who want to see the happier, child-like side of fluffies can pay to watch that footage. And I'd like to thank each and every one of our subscribers as well!

AM: But everybody?

PM: Yes. You've got the loving types, who watch the pens. You've got the... how should I say it, sexually enamored individuals, who like to watch fluff-on-fluff action. We've got a large following on FluffHub. But abusers as well.

AM: The subscribers are paying for what then?

PM: They're paying to watch the action. The processing. The cycles. The drama of life. The fall of innocence. Pure entertainment. But what that money goes towards is anything but abusive.

AM: Like what?

PM: The sketties. We don't just open up a can of cheap fluffy grade pasta. We make such an enormous side business from the subscribers that it didn't seem right to just put that into our pockets.

AM: Like the play pens? What else would you spend it on?

PM: Three star chefs.

AM: To cook fluffies?

PM: No! No, to cook for the fluffies! We hire top of the line chefs to make our pasta dishes.

AM: You're serious. They cook for fluffies all day? Three star chefs?

PM: And four stars, and the occasional five star chef will consult for us, coming up with new dishes.

AM: You’re serious!? How can they stand it, making pasta for biotoys? Don't they get tired of making spaghetti constantly?

PM (laughs): Of course they'd get tired of it! Now, now! You know I hate waste! It would be a waste of talent to have them just cook for the fluffies. The fluffy dishes are just a small part of their work. It is yet another benefit of working for Fluff Farms. Free meals. If our dining rooms were open to the public, they'd be reviewed and hailed as the best restaurants for hundreds if not thousands of kilometers around. I'm not kidding! And it's any meal. We offer breakfast, lunch, and dinner menus constantly, for all shifts, all fully paid for by the company and free to every employee.

AM: And that level of culinary expertise goes for the fluffies, too?

PM: Not so much. Fluffies are really single minded, nor can they tell things apart very well, so spaghetti is the epitome of cuisine on shape alone. Nothing else much resonates, and so spaghetti it is. Our employees are a bit more concerning, so they do order off a menu with more choices than just pasta. Our chefs are constantly coming up with new plates and combinations, many of which wind up outside, copied by lesser dining establishments. We don't keep nearly a close of a watch on our dinner menu as we do on the special sauce! The steaks are glorious!

AM: Steak?

PM: Steak! Best I've ever had, as well! The pizza is fantastic too, and we do a family pizza day once a month for employees and their families.

AM: All included, I assume?

PM: Yes! All included. It makes this less of a cold corporate shell, and more of a family business. I like that. I think it's good and wholesome.

AM: Less wasteful?

PM (laughs): Of course! I'm proud of our employees. It's deplorable how high the turnover is in fluffy based industries! But our employees are like family to us, and we treat them like family. I'm proud of the business we've built, of the company, of each employee, and the professionalism that we get from each and every person here that works with me.

AM: Don't you mean "works for you"?

PM: No. One hundred percent no. We work together. And I love it.

(Camera change; AM at some slightly noisy public location)

AM: And that's our tour of Fluff Farms. After my shock about my camera man, I indeed popped the bubble I was in, and I have since done my homework. As a viewer of this program, and really, anything on this station, you have a 65% chance of being an abuser, either in reality or fantasy. I suspect because of the nature of tonight's program, that number right now is closer to 90% of those watching this broadcast, as this is the first time cameras have been in Fluff Farms other than the subscription services that 48% of you viewers have paid for in the last five years.

(Camera change; slow pull back, revealing the small plastic table with a food tray on it)

AM: And the majority of those subscriptions were watching the very same processing line that we visited.

(Camera change; slow pull back finishes, revealing that AM is at a Fluff Burger)

AM: I never did get Mr. Manfield to let me into the special sauce room, even without a camera or note. But that doesn't make it any less delicious!

(Transcription note: AM takes a big bite out of the Fluff Burger in front of her, a dollop of sauce dripping onto the tray, chews, and swallows)

AM: I'm Angelya Monroah, thank you for watching In Deep, and I hope you enjoyed our exclusive trip to Fluff Farms, Inc!

(Transcription note: AM takes another bite and chews, while the camera fades to black, and the credits flash roll while the sounds of a Fluff Burger continues)

(Television transcription ends)

Comments

- Reply
Anonymous1: this is very good man gotta do more like this
- Reply
ShadoWolfSpider: That's the longest, I've ever seen....Good Job!
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PencilWingie: This was my favorite part to write of the entire saga.
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PencilWingie: @ShadoWolfSpider: You got me curious. It is the longest post by word count, 9500+. The next biggest was Side Story 19.1 at 7000+. Chapter 30 comes in at #3 with 6800+, and is thus the longest story-line chapter. Bit of a tearjerker, too. Least, I hope it is.
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Anonymous2: Wow. Impressive. This is an incredibly detailed look into a corporation that does it right. Even if the fluffies end up dead, they all have amazing lives, and in fact they're negating abuse with their streaming. Managing to get as much out of fluffies as possible, while still keeping them happy and kind. Man. Can I make a story with this? It's heckin' amazing.
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Anonymous3(2): Aw feck. I'm PBJellen, just not logged in.
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PencilWingie: @Anonymous: Feel free to write away. I do have one more side story based inside Fluffy Farms (Side Story 35.2), in case you want to wait to see how that turns out. Simply builds on a detail inside this story.

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PeanutButterJellenheimer: Sweet. I love your work!
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Anonymous4: Kinda reminds me of how all meat is produced. It all ends in exploitation, suffering and death.